Since I’m still twitching from unwittingly bearing witness to American Idol alum Ace Young’s saccharine, obviously sponsored (he name-checked his jeweler!) sixth-grade-homecoming invitation of a proposal to Diana Degarmo on last night’s AI finale, there’s pretty much no way I could write a post about anything BUT this apparent celebrity penchant for embarrassing themselves beyond all comprehension. So, since misery loves company, take my hand and let’s walk down the most uncomfortable memory lane ever, shall we?
Kicking it off with Ace and Diana — celebrities, write this down: if you have a ring in one hand and a microphone in the other, chances are you are embarrassing yourself, and us. STOP IT. (There’s video of this American Idol proposal train wreck, if you feel like gouging your own eyes out.)
Ahhh, an oldie but a goodie. Remember when Angelia Jolie won that Oscar for Girl, Interrupted and would NOT STOP making out with her brother James? Of course you do because it was totally disgusting and none of us will ever be able to un-sear that image from our fragile memories. Celebrities, maybe write this down too: If the initial audience reaction is “EW! GROSS!” maybe just spare us all and move on, rather than continue to make everyone’s skin crawl by repeating the awkward offense time and time again.
Who hasn’t wanted to take a shower on behalf of Charlie Sheen? I know I have, and never more so than when he told 20/20 that he had “Tiger blood and Adonis DNA”. Most cringe-worthy moment of the whole debacle for me? Thinking of a sober Charlie one day hearing himself say that his daughters would think his well-publicized hooker-binges are cool…or worse — his grown-up daughters hearing it. (Want to relive the horror? Hulu’s got Charlie Sheen’s unadulterated mania in all its glory.)
Dean McDermott reminded us all to look before we tweet when he attempted to share a photo of son Liam joking around, but instead shared wife Tori Spelling’s bare breasts with the WHOLE INTERNET. OMFG. I can’t even begin to think about how hard I would punch my husband in the throat if he did that to me. I’ve never been a huge fan of Donna Martin myself, but even I felt for the NoTORIous one when her nips went viral.
It’s almost as cliché as Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction and yet Ashlee Simpson’s Milli Vanilli moment on SNL has got to be one of the most truly, deeply humiliating moments in celebrity on-air history. Jess’s little sister was just a wee pop star when her song started to repeat while she and her band stood on-stage like kids who just walked in on their parents doing it. Ashlee seems to have recovered, but I’m pretty sure the incident left me with a few grey hairs.
Okay, so I know he never meant for this intimate family moment to be watched by millions, but of all the ways David Hasselhoff could have seen his name turned into a verb, I bet he never thought it would be in the context of drunken cheeseburger eating. Now, when frat boys across America “Hasselhoff” that Breakfast Jack at 3am, they have David’s fed-up teenage daughter to thank for it.
…And that brings us to the conclusion of this incredibly unsettling edition of Celebrity Moments that keep us cringing. If I’ve missed a doozie, please bring it to our attention in the comments.