Last night, everybody’s favorite vamporn guilty pleasure returned and Mad Men season 5 ended with a whimper. Those items, plus the weekend’s best gossip in today’s Chatter Box.
The gossip rumor mill (myself included) is LOVING this Kimye pairing. Take two celebrities that people love to hate – only one of whom possesses any actual talent – throw in their combined enormous wealth and propensity for flaunting it, and you pretty much have the best recipe for gossip napalm. Kim is still technically married to Kris Humphries, but rumors are already swirling that Kanye wants to put a ring on Kim Kardashian’s hand. In fact, he has apparently attempted to woo his future mother-in-law with the traditional gift of a Bentley. What, your husband didn’t buy your mom a $200,000 luxury car when he asked for your hand? Pssh, what a cad.
Given the fact that Kim bought ‘Ye a $750,000 Lamborghini for his 35th birthday, I’m guessing a bouquet of spring flowers doesn’t pass as an acceptable gift at the Kardashian Kompound.
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In other Hollywood couple news, Matthew McConaughey and long-time partner Camila Alves wed over the weekend. The couple had two children together and while I can’t confirm this, sources indicate that McConaughey actually wore a shirt for the occasion. Guests in attendance included fellow drawling stoner Woody Harrelson and Reese Witherspoon. It is reported that Camila will be taking McConaughey’s last name. Mazel to the happy couple.
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Lindsay Lohan wrecked a rented Porsche on the Pacific Coast Highway this Friday when she rear-ended an 18-wheeler. Her people reported that the accident was not her fault, citing faulty brakes and the fact that the semi had cut her off, but now the driver of said big rig is saying that Lohan bribed him to stay quiet about the accident and a mysterious pink bag that was in the car with her. The driver has now hired a lawyer, while Lohan’s people maintain the accident was not Lohan’s fault and that the truck driver is just trying to make a quick buck. He does know she already blew all her Mean Girls money on rented Porsches and blow, right?
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Snooki has disclosed the name of her future loin fruit, and she had decided to go with a suitable Italian name for her little guidling: Lorenzo, “because then we can call him Enzo.” They had considered naming him after his father, Jionni, but eventually sided against. Meanwhile in overly-tanned gym rat news, the ladies still residing in the Jersey Shore house are up to old tricks: JWoww got into a bar brawl and Deena got arrested for disorderly conduct. When Snooki looks like the responsible adult in your group of friends, it’s time to take inventory, don’t you think. Come on ladies – look at your life, look at your choice.
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True Blood returned last night and they wasted absolutely no time getting to the gore and raunchy sex. Sookie and Lafayette forced Pam to turn Tara, who was all-but-dead from a Debbie-inflicted gunshot wound. Meanwhile, Sam took the rap for the death of Alcide’s redneck packmaster and then led them to the body where the rest of the pack, um, ate him? It was gross. Eric and Beeeel escaped the Authority with the help of Eric’s sister, who also helpfully banged the Sookeh out of him in a shipping container, but then the Authority showed up anyway, and I dunno, some other stuff happened, but I don’t watch that show for the articles anymore.
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Also, the Mad Men season finale happened, I guess. It was not exactly explosive, but in a season where Joanie sleeping her way into a partnership, another partner offs himself, Peggy quits the firm and also ZOU BISOU BISOU, I suppose there was no real way to top themselves without putting a shark in the middle of the lobby and water skiing over it, you know? I will reflect on a few things, though. First: Joan, at the partners’ meeting, was wearing glasses very similar to Lane’s, just to make it clear that she plans to fill his shoes as the resident party pooper partner, always telling people that booze and hookers don’t grow on trees. And then there’s the ending. “Are you alone?” Don doesn’t answer, but what do you think? Is he done being the saintly husband?
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