Chatter Box: Madonna's Butt, Nicole Kidman Sex Scene 'For Her Daughters'

What’s that, Lassie? Timmy fell into the Chatter Box? Let’s see what gossip we can pull out of the well before he suffocates.

During a performance in Rome on Tuesday, Madonna pulled down her pants and exposed her lingerie-clad trapperkeeper to the crowd. She began a pseudo strip tease to “Human Nature,” turning around to reveal ‘NO FEAR’ scrawled across her upper back. After she undid her pants she showed off her carefully aged and yoga-toned rear slightly obscured by a lacy thong and fishnets. Earlier in the week she had a rogue nipple incident in Turkey, begging the question: if a 53-year-old woman’s clothes keep falling off, what happens? Not much.

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Richard Belzer, who I know as that weasley guy from Law & Order, threw out the Nazi salute on the red carpet at a TV festival in Monte Carlo as part of what he claims was just a “Jewish humor Great Dictator” joke. He can’t see why people have their bulges in a twist, “I’m a Jewish comedian, and there’s this new thing out, it’s called satire, irony and historical reference.” Uh, okay man, if you say so. He also bent over and showed his butt to the press like a monkey looking for action. Why? I don’t know. Jewish humor again?

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Despite what you may have heard on Twitter, this is not a picture of Kim Kardashian chowing down in the buff. Just thought we should clear that up. Hey, I’m kind of hungry.

Some wily Twitter pranksters tried to convince people the photo came from Kanye, but Kanye’s rep has confirmed that such a tweet never occurred. Also, this is a picture of porn star Amia Miley from 2011.

Cool times neat fun.

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Alyson Hannigan (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, How I Met Your Mother) and her husband welcomed their second daughter May 23rd. We’re only just hearing about it now because they kept the news hush hush for the first few weeks. She broke her self-imposed silence and shared a glimpse of their new squishy bundle with Twitter on Tuesday (it was a big week on Twitter, apparently). Awww, mazel tov, yall!

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Nicole Kidman stars with Clive Owen in Hemingway & Gellhorn, which premiered two weeks ago on HBO and evidently contains some surprisingly graphic sex scenes. Between that and her “golden shower” scene in The Paperboy she’s been on a kinky roll. Things took a more bizarre and psychological twist when her director told her, “You made this film for your daughters … You don’t know it, but subconsciously you made it for them.” (FOR THEM TO NEVER, EVER SEE. HOPEFULLY.) Yay women’s lib?

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I was really hoping the toy-themed movies would sink with Battleship (HEYOOO) but Hollywood has always delighted in crushing my dreams. Sony, Hasbro, and Adam Sandler’s Happy Madison company are teaming up for a Tonka Trucks movie. Yeah. THAT’S HAPPENING. On the brighter side, it’s going to be an animated family film, so we won’t be subjected to a tarted-up gritty “serious” version. At least their potential tagline is a winner: “Tonka goes GRRRRRRRRR.”

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Recently engaged lovebird Miley Cyrus was snapped hanging out in a pool in Miami with a bearded mystery man, whom I think we should all dub ‘The Lumberjack.’ I love a good mystery man, and for ten whole minutes the paparazzi tried to spin it as a scandal before a source revealed he’s – gasp! – her friend Cheyne. This picture is the part of the afternoon where I imagine he was saying, “Hey girl, I’mma eat your arm now.” and she replied, “MMMMM, BUBBLE TEA!”