Yesterday, the internets erupted with the news of Shia LaBeouf and his little LaBeoufcicle appearing in the new Sigur Ros video. I was more surprised to learn that Sigur Ros actually does music videos than I was to learn that Shia and his peen are in one of them. Okay, fine, here’s the video [Obviously NSFW, unless you work at home like me or maybe you work for a porn studio—I don't know your life]:
I know this is supposed to be artsy and serious and all, but I got about 45 seconds in before I was snickering, and my giggles had absolutely nothing to do with LOLDONGS. I didn’t watch the rest. If you make it through the whole thing, so let me know if it gets better.
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Top Chef fans! If the local rumors are true (and there are enough of them that I’m willing to say this is all-but-confirmed), then the next season of Top Chef will be taking place right here in the Emerald City, otherwise known as Seattle. I expect at least one obligatory Pike Place Market challenge. I am also interested to see if they show the chefs trying to find parking at Whole Foods because SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS, IT”S A NIGHTMARE.
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Speaking of dongs, John “Walking Schlong” Mayer supposedly flirted with Hunger Games star Jennifer Lawrence at Medieval Times the other night, even though she has a boyfriend, and she was TOTALLY flirting back. Oh, and also, they were in medieval costumes because duh. And then someone else saw the pair with America’s Favorite Manic Pixie, Zooey Deschanel, shopping as a trio on Melrose Ave, with Mayer at one point pulling out the impromptu shoulder massage trick on Lawrence. This entire incident sounds like it was lifted out of an old episode of 90210 (obv Zooey is Brenda, Jennifer is Kelly, and Mayer is either Brandon or Dylan depending on what season). Unfortunately, the paps lost them somewhere near The Peach Pit.
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Despite having absolutely zero sexual chemistry on the set of Mad Men, Pete Campbell portrayer Vincent Kartheiser and former Gilmore Girls star Alexis Bledel are totally doing it IRL. When reached for comment, Emily Gilmore had the following to say:
(BTW, if you want to see the Buddhist ballet teacher version of Kelly Bishop’s Emily Gilmore, run-do-not-walk to ABC Family and catch up on Bunheads, which I kind of adore.)
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Fiona Apple has a new album and it’s awesome. You should go download it after you finish reading MamaPop.
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After attending Carol Kane’s 60th birthday party in Hell’s Kitchen, Woody Harrelson was approached by a homeless woman asking for spare cash. Woody gave her $600, to which she responded, “Woody! White Men CAN jump!” referencing a 20-year-old movie, not that I expect homeless people to be topical with their pop culture references.
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Bobby Brown hit the pause button on his tour with New Edition to tie the knot with fiancée Alicia Etheredge in Honolulu yesterday. Bobby wore Adidas, surrounded by all his children except Bobbi Kristina, who was notably absent from the ceremony. I guess that’s her prerogative. Yeah, sorry about that.
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Jay-Z and Kanye played “Ni**as in Paris” 12 times in a row last night in Paris. Because they’re in PARIS, you guys. Get it? As far as I know, Gwyneth Paltrow was not there to tweet about it.
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It’s time to warm up your fist-pumping arm because Arsenio Hall is returning to the talk show circuit. The syndicated late-night format show is set to premiere in the fall of 2013. I didn’t realize there was any sort of call for Arsenio to return to television. Wasn’t he a total ass on Celebrity Apprentice or something? I think I remember hearing that and then my brain went into sleep mode because I simply can’t be bothered to care about anything Donald Trump does.
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And, finally, Disney released a still of Angelina Jolie as the titular character of its live-action project, Maleficent, a retelling of Sleeping Beauty from the perspective of the evil queen. I can’t even begin to care about this movie, but I concede that Jolie looks bad ass as the evilest queen in the Disney pantheon.
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About Snarky Amber
