Just when you think Hollywood is having a dull moment, we have people like Jennifer Lopez arrive with an OMGHAIRCUT to liven things up! Wait. I mean, Miley Cyrus wears something provocative and we get a glimpse of her butt cheeks! Er…some relatively obscure and unknown actor with questionable attractiveness elopes with an androgynous model.
Okay, I give. IT’S A SLOW NEWS DAY. Let’s spruce it up with some pictures! Starting with Miley’s ass!
The 19 year-old engaged pop star was out and about in LA when she popped into an American Apparel for what could have been the store’s next scandalous ad campaign. Miley was dressed in super-short white denim shorts, a cutoff top with (gasp) no bra, and what appears to be some sort of…belly chain? So those are a thing again? Jesus H. When she bent over
for the camera to browse a rack, we all got a flash of what her groom-to-be, Liam Hemsworth, fell in love with just three short years ago. Miley has been tweeting details about her wedding plans as of late and is “ready” for the marriage because she’s “mature and supportive.” Right. And I’m gonna go buy me a pair of them-thar daisy dukes.
Moving along! Now it’s time for Alec Baldwin’s ass! Wait…
Okay, so it’s just his hairy legs, not his hairy buttcheeks. Thank heavens for small miracles, eh? The engaged funnyman, Alec Baldwin, was on the Late Show with David Letterman the other night when he used his glorious gams to divert attention from his recent scuffle with a paparazzo. Baldwin made headlines when a photographer snapped a shot of him lunging toward the guy as Baldwin emerged from City Hall after obtaining his marriage license. The cameraman is pressing charges, naturally, but Baldwin maintains he barely even touched the guy. He also maintains that he is naturally hairy, and YOU SHOULD SEE MY BACK!
In other TV news, Ann Curry opens up about how everyone in the world likes to make fun of her for wearing crap like the dress pictured above. I mean, WHAT IS THAT? After only a year working as Matt Lauer’s co-host on The Today Show, there are endless rumors that Curry is getting the chop due to poor ratings. Speaking to Ladies Home Journal, Curry said:
“You worry, ‘Am I not good enough? Am I not what people need? Am I asking the right questions?’ When people say negative things or speculate, you can’t help but feel hurt. It’s hard not to take it personally.”
I dunno. I actually feel bad for the gal. Matt Lauer is heralded as some sort of superstud extraordinaire, but I bet if he had to wear the type of garments Curry’s stylist subjects her to, things would be a lot different on the set.
And speaking of ridiculous men, Lady Gaga’s manager is making headlines, causing the world to nod with understanding as to how the pop star has managed to turn BIZARRE into a successful schtick: her manager, Troy Carter, is possibly more insane than she is. Carter was giving an interview during something called the Music Matters Keynote, when he described the Little Monster Queen as a “200-pound toddler.”
He then went on to describe the recent controversy of her cancelled Indonesian show to the crucifixion of Jesus Christ:
“It’s less about Gaga than it really is what’s happening in the world right now as a whole. This is a microcosm. It’s a generational divide. Jesus Christ got crucified. It happens.”
Oh, hey, do these two look familiar? Giovanni Ribisi, the type of actor that’s been in like EVERY MOVIE AND TV SHOW EVER MADE, and yet no one can remember his name, and Agyness Deyn, a model, eloped in Los Angeles, according to Ribisi’s publicist. The romance is apparently a whirlwind one, since Agyness was claiming singledom as recently as March. They’re kinda cute together, I must say, though I’m not sure I would have enjoyed watching them “passionately kissing” at the LA Registrar’s Office, as is being reported.
And in true SAVE THE BEST FOR LAST fashion…
Jennifer Lopez got a haircut!
I’m sorry. That’s all I have on that.