ZOMG.
And, before you point it out: YES, I KNOW. I can’t stop talking about Tween Sensations lately. I plan on bringing it up with my therapist.
*creates to-do list: “1) Find therapist”*
In an interview with a Belgium press group, Pattinson revealed that he and his maybe-not-maybe-so girlfriend, Kristen Stewart, plan on writing a script together. Apparently, the duo haven’t started it yet, but they have “thought about it for a long time.” This comes on the heels of both Pattinson and Stewart proclaiming their BURNING DESIRE to work with one another on another film.
Says Pattinson:
[I] absolutely [want to work with Kristen again]!
And says Stewart:
I’m dying to make another movie with Rob, I think that we’re a good team. I think whatever it is needs to be so ridiculously ambitious. So maybe! I just haven’t read it, so I don’t know what it is, but I would love to work with him again.
Well, then! It’s as if the heavens themselves have proclaimed it so! All that’s left is figuring out what, exactly, these two will create together. And I worry that, since they’re so terribly busy with their latest films and making out in Cannes, that they won’t have sufficient time to dedicate to this project.
Which, naturally, is why I’m here to help. I present to you a few of my ideas for the next Kristen Stewart & Robert Pattinson blockbuster hit.
The Rom-Com
The premise: Theirs would be an international love story, one full of missed connections. Kind of like Serendipity, but with more hotness. Perhaps they could be an archaeologist (Stewart) and a street busker (Pattinson) who fall in love at the ruins in Pompeii. They’re both feeling disenfranchised by their work, held back by red tape and obtuse co-workers. They eventually start frequenting the same place each night, trying to find a center, and ALAS! IT’S WITH EACH OTHER.
Why it could work: HEADBOARD SCENE.
Action/Thriller
The premise: These two are both spies within the same company, but don’t know each other. UNTIL NOW. There’s a mole somewhere along the line, and these two find themselves investigating each other, each thinking the other is guilty. But they must form an alliance when it is discovered that they’re actually being framed by the President, who has assassinated the wrong dude. Will their alliance lead to love? TUNE IN TO FIND OUT!
Why it could work: Headboard scene and HANDCUFFS.
Drama
The premise: Two down-trodden Americans are out of work, out of luck, and out of love. They find their way to each other as they hit rock bottom in some dive bar that features pregnant strippers. (I don’t know…just spitballing, here.) Together, they find the strength to pull one another from the pit of despair, eventually ditching their worldly possessions and living off the land in Hawaii. Soundtrack by some obscure hipster band that you’ve probably never heard of.
Why it would work: Two words–HEADBOARD SCENE.
Epic
The premise: An historical fiction account of two homesteaders during the Colonial Era. Each is married to someone else at the beginning of the movie, but as their spouses succumb to dysentery and coyote attacks, they find comfort in each other’s warm, woolen beds. The movie is full of death and rebirth and epic, flowing skirts for Stewart. Pattinson grows a beard for the role and often cannot find his shirt.
Why it could work: (All together now!) H-E-A-D-B-O-A-R-D S-C-E-N-E !
So, anyway, those are my ideas. I’m hoping that, despite whatever they come up with, the movie is not another tween sensation, as I am growing weary of my title as the resident Inappropriate-Luster.
And, Rob? Kristen? *waggles thumb and pinky* CALL ME!
About Kristine Cook
