Wedding bells, y’all! Drew Barrymore, expectant mother, married her fiancé of five months, some dude named Will Kopelman, over the weekend.
The ceremony took place on Saturday at the home Drew and Will share in Montecito, California. It is said that the ceremony was Jewish and lasted about 45 minutes. There was a poetry reading (e.e. cummings’ ‘I Carry Your Heart With Me’) and Drew wore a white Chanel gown. The guest list included stars Cameron Diaz, Jimmy Fallon, Reese Witherspoon, Scarlett Johansson, and, of course, Steven Spielberg, who all arrived shielded by white umbrellas to foil the paparazzi. The couple’s first dance was to Band of Horses’ ‘Nobody’s Gonna Love You.’ The couple partied hearty until about 2am, when they drove off in a Mercedes to spend the evening at San Ysidro Ranch on Montecito.
In the past few months, Drew has gushed about her now-husband, talking about how she has finally learned to love a stable life with her man and his family, talking about the “group vacations” they go on together. How novel!
So, wait. Is anyone thinking what I’m thinking? Who the hell is Will Kopelman? (Oh, and Drew Barrymore was married TWICE BEFORE? And! And! Engaged twice more!)
Let’s start with Will. Dude is some sort of Art Consultant, which probably means he stands around in galleries, drinking wine and talking about his feelings. To put things into perspective, Will’s father is Arie Kopelman, who was once the CEO of Chanel.
Makes sense. They had maybe-so-maybe-not dated once before in 201o, but cut it off before reuniting last year. He seems like a nice fellow.
Truthfully, all joking aside, I’m cautiously optimistic for Drew Barrymore. Girl has had a notoriously horrendous upbringing that lacked nearly any parental guidance or protection whatsoever. And taking a look at her past love stories, this one seems just normal enough to show some promise. Seriously, Drew once dated ANDY DICK, for Pete’s sake. And remember when she wouldn’t stop making out with Justin Long? SO WEIRD!
In fact, let’s take a trip down memory lane to see just how far Drew has come.
Drew got engaged for the first time when she was only 16 to Leland Hayward, grandson of some famous Hollywood producer. Thankfully, that fell by the wayside.
Next along the line was an engagement to Jamie Walters. REMEMBER HIM?!
HOW DO YOU TALK TO AN AAAYN-GELL?
That fell apart before they could make it down the aisle as well. But Drew soldiered onward. There were a bunch of rumored relationships with women over the next decade or so, something Drew herself confirmed in 2004.
In 1994, she married a bar owner named Jeremy Thomas. That marriage lasted exactly one month. Around the same time, Drew posed for Playboy, breaking Steven Spielberg’s gold-plated heart.
Eep. That was probably a very good thing.
For the next decade or so, Drew kinda let her freak flag fly. There was the incident where she flashed David Letterman on national TV, and relationships with Andy Dick, Luke Wilson, and Ed Norton. And who can forget her marriage to freakin’ TOM GREEN?
Lord, wasn’t he linked to, like, Monica Lewinsky or some mess after that breakup? Poor bastard.
The period after Tom was around the time that Drew founded her own production company, Flower Films, and things started to look up for the child star. She made a string of successful romantic comedies, and eventually settled into a nearly five-year-long relationship with the guitarist from The Strokes, Fabrizio Moretti.
Sadly, that one fizzled out and was followed up by some oddly-matched rebounds. There was a flurry of quick romances before Drew latched onto Justin Long’s mouth and didn’t let go for what seemed like FOREVER.
I’m sorry, but those two as a couple fully weirded me out. He looks like a godawful makeout companion.
After Justin, however, Drew met Will, and at some point they played the no-pants dance. I like that he’s not an actor, as that seems to be the kiss of death when it comes to Drew’s relationships. Plus, even though he didn’t shave for his wedding day, he seems like a stand-up chap, and hella handsome at that.
On that note, let’s have one last look at the happy couple.
Congratulations you two crazy kids, and here’s to putting the past behind you! (That’s gonna be one pretty baby, amirite?)