So, way back during the late ’90s Ben & Matt How do you like them apples years, I fancied myself a Matt Damon kind of girl. I would have picked Matt in the Boston dude celebrity showdown. It probably comes down to the fact that I first fell in love with Matt Damon’s boyish good looks in School Ties, a movie I’m pretty sure no one else has seen but, well, me. Ben Affleck just really never did it for me. I couldn’t see him as anything but the guy who flunked and liked to paddle young boys in Dazed and Confused.
So, Sir Affleck, for years, was on my list of celebrity men whose appeal I just did not get.
See: Johnny Depp, George Clooney, Shia LaBeouf, Clive Owen, Matthew McConaughey, Daniel Craig, Hugh Jackman, Alexander Skarsgård
(I know. I KNOW.)
While everyone else is oohing and aahing, I’m just sort of meh—not really much of a fan.
Until pictures of Ben Affleck on the 4th of July with his lovely wife Jennifer Garner and their three lovely children surfaced and were flying all over the internet.
I get it now.
There is nothing unappealing about this image for me. The salt & pepper hair, the 5 o’clock shadow, the arm muscles, the fitted white t-shirt, the lovely camera. I honestly don’t even know if Ben Affleck is even relevant anymore as being anything other than Jennifer Garner’s husband. (Is he??) I honestly don’t even care. I am a fan, even if I’m about eight years late. And eight years is probably too generous, I think. What was the last movie he was in?
And this is not the first time that I have come around late when it comes to celebrity men.
This happened to me with Bradley Cooper. I just didn’t get it for so, so very long. He looked pretty much like every single boy I ever went to high school with, and occasionally he takes an icky turn for the tanorexic. And then, you guys. And then he spoke French. And it was like suddenly, the angels started singing. It’s like how I am whenever an Irish actor opens his mouth—a thing of beauty. I swear, someone with a lovely accent could be reading a goddamn obituary and I’d think it was sexy. Except for Russell Crowe. His accent is pure rubbish.
This happened to me with Russell Brand. There was something just a little too dirty for me, and not in a good kind of Jared Leto-ish dirty. Russell Brand just looked like he needed a bath and some grooming. And then I saw Get Him to the Greek and then I was a fan for life. And, don’t even get me started on what happened when I saw him on Ellen with those two little tutu-wearing Nicki Minaj-singing munchkins. Instant love, I tell you.
This happened to me with David Boreanaz. Unappealing! That was, of course, until I started watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Bones within the same month and now Agent Seeley Booth holds a special place in my top five, sliding in just below the lovely Jon Hamm. There’s just something about him for me, and it certainly doesn’t hurt when he takes his shirt off.
Tell me I’m not the only one. Please tell me that there are celebrities who you have changed your tune on.
Also, please tell me I’m not the only one who just doesn’t get the George Clooney appeal. Please. Before Mamapop fires me.