The World’s Most Boring Band, Coldplay, has recently been made aware that there are comic books, and a thing called Comic-Con which many people attend, and have decided that making a comic book is something they should do.
Let me repeat that, because when I woke up this morning, I stumbled down to my computer and, as I do, checked in on all of the happenings around the blog-o-sphere. Then I glanced at CNN.com and saw that Penn State officials had apparently been covering up Jerry Sandusky’s crimes for years, with Joe Paterno being a pivotal part of those efforts. Then I read some stuff about Comic-Con, and saw that Coldplay was releasing a comic book based on their latest album, something called Mylo Xyloto. And I decided that of those two stories, the Coldplay comic book thing was easily the most unsettling. According to Wikipedia, Coldplay still exists and they released this album last year. It had singles and everything. Huh.
Mylo Xyloto is a science fiction concept album – you know, like Rush’s 2112 (about a dystopian future in which rock music is outlawed) or Styx’s Kilroy Was Here (about a dystopian future in which rock music is outlawed) or Josh Groban’s Josh Groban (about a dystopian future in which rock music is outlawed). Here is a picture from the comic book:
I don’t know who this character is, but I assume he’s the crazy villain, driven mad because he has no nose and his thumb is on the wrong side of his hand. On the band’s website, comic co-creator Mark Osborne tells fans that he was originally looking to do an animated film – “the next Yellow Submarine” – and that he thought of Coldplay, because apparently when one thinks of this generation’s Beatles, one thinks of Coldplay. HAdsknsadrtidm nvda(skn&@%# – Oops! Sorry about the weird typing there; tried thinking of Coldplay as the Beatles incarnate and gave myself a brain aneurysm. Anyway, there was going to be a movie, but that seemed too difficult, so everyone decided that they should make a comic book instead, because comic books exist, and there are people who read them and go to conventions. Like this fellow:
Andrew Garfield’s trainer really is a miracle worker, don’t you think? Both the comic and the album are, of course, based on a dystopian future in which apparently not only is rock music outlawed (why would Coldplay need to worry about that?) but all sound and color. Details of the plot are being kept under wraps, but apparently Mylo Xyloto, the main character, is a Silencer, who is responsible for making sure that there is no sound. (You really don’t know how hard it was for me not to make a fart joke there.) Coldplay plans on releasing the first issue this week. I have nothing more to add. Except this picture of Chris Martin. It’s kind of hypnotic. Which explains a lot, actually.