I’m always the last to know about things. I was the last person to hear about the shooting in Colorado (which made me question the way news spreads in this hick town I’m in); I was the last person to figure out that the Wendy’s shut down and I couldn’t get my Baja salad fix while stuck in Louisiana.
After figuring out all that stuff (and being sufficiently pissed-off about the salad bit), I also found a couple of new-to-me shows that make life tolerable at the end of the day. My reasoning is probably the weirdest and most disturbing you’ll ever see, but whatevs. I’ve got to find some pleasure in-between work and paying bills. I’m just like you!
Now, this show? It’s terrible. I mean, it’s like Archer got drunk and had a one-night-stand with American Dad, Family Guy, and quite possibly The Simpsons.
My reason for loving it and watching it? What in the hell is wrong with that family?! Those kids have more issues than an entire season of wack-a-doos on those rehab shows. The Mom? Seriously? Ohmygod. And Bob…oh, Bob. The only thing better than the mindless laughter your show gives me, is your creepy ‘stache. Where’s your chin, bro? WHERE IS IT?!
Game of Thrones
Yes, whatever, I’m just now getting around to watching it. I don’t pay for channels that don’t already come with the cheap package from DirecTV. I also just don’t care enough to watch anything that I don’t know for a fact that I like. But, here I am, watching it and loving it and sharing with you why. Funny how these things happen, eh?
I don’t watch this show because I read the books, or because it’s the only thing on — I watch it for the midget dude. And the incest. And that crazy chick with the dragons because what the fuck is going on with her? AMIRITE?? Seriously, though, ew. Ew all over that show. EW. I’m thinking all that incest is why the world is so screwed up these days. I know it happened, but I don’t need to be reminded that much, HBO. I just don’t.
I’m not even sure this qualifies as an actual show. It’s really awful. I can’t think of many things that I would say are AS bad, but as an example, Tosh.0 is better. Stabbing out my eyeballs with rusty cutlery also qualifies as more fun. And listening to the neighbor’s old pimp honk his horn repeatedly. That is way better than this show.
The problem? YOU CANNOT LOOK AWAY! CANNOT! And I’m not entirely sure why. It’s a mystery. I’m not even sure what the show is about, honestly. Sometimes, when I’m watching, I completely zone out, and I almost forget that I’m even alive. I’m pretty sure that’s the point of the show. Ugly Americans: Watch It When Shit Gets Too Real, You’ll Be Fine.
So much is wrong with me…so. much. But, when watching any of these shows, my life gets just a little bit better, and I get a much-needed break from reality for a little bit.
And incest. I get to see a lot of that.