There were so many reasons to keep it under wraps that I went to see Step Up Revolution—on purpose, without a single one of my children—on the big screen in 3D on Friday afternoon. I mean, I was clearly the only person in the theater over the age of 14 and, well, it was a Step Up movie, after all.
But, three very important factors convinced me that it’s (possibly a little bit) okay to admit that I went to see this movie.
Exhibit A: tWitch.
I’m a huge fan of So You Think You Can Dance. I think it’s because I cannot dance—not even to save my life. Seriously. When I dance, it looks like Carlton Banks swallowed Elaine Benes. Because I am so bad, I have so much respect and admiration (and so so so much envy) for those who can, and hoo boy, those on So You Think You Can Dance? THEY CAN. Season four alum tWitch isn’t the only former contestant making an appearance here, and it’s all thanks to Adam Shankman, who is often a guest judge on SYTYCD and is also the film’s producer. Kathryn McCormick, who plays Emily, was a season 6 finalist. Judge Mia Michaels is in the film, and Travis Wall is a choreographer.
Exhibit B: Peter Gallagher’s eyebrows
I’m also a huge fan of Peter Gallagher’s eyebrows. They go together with dance movies like peas and carrots (Center Stage anyone?).
Exhibit C: THIS
And I’m a very enthusiastic fan of Ryan Guzman’s abs. They are the new frontier. Move over Channing Tatum, there’s a new king of movies that don’t require any acting skill.
And here’s the thing about this movie. It really doesn’t matter that the story is cheesy, that the acting is questionable at best, or that the entire plot is mostly ridiculous. It really doesn’t matter than it’s basically just a remake of Dirty Dancing, but instead of the impossibly different main characters spending a summer dancing together at Kellerman’s in the Catskills, they spend a summer dancing together on the streets of Miami. There’s even a “nobody puts baby in a corner” moment, and mambo, and a similar lift scenario.
There’s also a wee bit of Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo meets Save The Last Dance meets West Side Story meets Footloose in there for good measure. Also also, there are flash mobs.
But it doesn’t matter. Give me the cheese, the bad acting, the tired and recycled story. I don’t care—I didn’t even notice. To me it was just another episode of So You Think You Can Dance, with ridiculously enjoyable dance numbers (and many, many flash mobs). There was a plot in there about a real-estate developer’s eyebrows wanting to tear down a part of Miami that is really important to Sean (Guzman) and his friends—the members of The Mob. But there’s a twist: Emily (McCormick) is not only Sean’s love interest in the movie, she’s is also the daughter of those infamous eyebrows.
But, again, the movie had too much dancing and too many lovely abs to notice the flimsy plot.
Nobody carried any watermelons though—and that, friends, is a crying shame.