We need another award extravaganza about as much as we need another hero, but, undeterred, the Television Critics Association handed out its 28th annual awards Saturday night in Los Angeles. At least the event was untelevised. Have a little respect for NBC’s endless, tape-delayed, pathetic coverage of the Olympics, if you please.
Claire Danes won for Individual Achievement in Drama for her performance as unstable CIA agent Carrie Mathison in Showtime’s Homeland. The actress, who fell off the face of the earth after Romeo and Juliet and tanked her career by refusing the lead role in Titanic, snapped up by the cleverer Kate Winslet, blah, blah, blah.
Oh my god. Who cares? How does she hoard every good hair day on the planet? What do I need to have her hair? Stylists at my beck and call? Fabulous genes? Good products? Tell us, Claire or we will hunt you down and cut off your hair for its magic like that crazy hag bitch in Tangled.
Me. Hunting Claire Danes’ hair.
What? I’m sorry, were you looking for commentary on the actual award choice? Homeland also took top honors in the Outstanding New Program category. I concur. Homeland is badass.
Program of the Year went to Game of Thrones. Geeks everywhere who are breathlessly awaiting The Hobbit rejoice!
I will take the men, preferably still in costume. I have divulged my preference for men with swords and I consider this one acceptable. Thank you. Oh wait, silly me, I’ve confused my medieval fantasies again. Sean Bean as Boromir was much cuter than Sean Bean as Eddard Stark. And now he’s gone and gotten a bit rough-around-the-edges looking and harassed his ex-wife, so we can blame him for ruining fantasies around the world. Poorly played, Sean.
So You Think You Can Dance won the award for Reality Programming That Irritates The Shit Out Of Everyone. Oh no, just me? Get a clue, TCA people. If it says “Dance” anywhere in the title, it sucks. (I didn’t say I didn’t watch, I said it sucks.) Dancing With The Stars. Dance Moms. Dance-arama. Dance Your Ass Off.
As we have discussed, there is far better reality TV out there. Does anyone at TCA watch the National Geographic Channel? Return to your voting and don’t come back until your Outstanding Achievement in Reality Programming winner involves large firearms. There can be dancing too, I’m fine with that.
Downton Abbey was awarded Outstanding Achievement in Movies, Miniseries and Specials. Of course it was—it’s TV perfection.
Please have the entire wardrobe department delivered to me. This is really the penultimate achievement in miniseries. They should retire the category now unless PBS has some other British period drama in the works, preferably involving Colin Firth.
And the Heritage Award went to: Cheers.
Meh. Iconic television, I know, and still I say, “meh.” I never got it. M*A*S*H* did win in 201o and Buffy The Vampire Slayer won in 2003, and The West Wing in 2006, so I suppose we can consider it a credible category. Saturday Night Live has been nominated seven times since 2002. Ouch. Always a nominee, never a Heritage Award winner.
Here’s the full list of winners, in case you’d like to form your own opinions.
Individual Achievement in Drama: Claire Danes (Homeland, Showtime)
Individual Achievement in Comedy: Louis C.K. (Louie, FX)
Outstanding Achievement in News and Information: 60 Minutes, CBS
Outstanding Achievement in Reality Programming: So You Think You Can Dance, Fox
Outstanding Achievement in Youth Programming: Switched At Birth, ABC Family
Outstanding New Program: Homeland, Showtime
Outstanding Achievement in Movies, Miniseries and Specials: Masterpiece Theater: Downton Abbey, PBS
Outstanding Achievement in Drama: Breaking Bad, AMC
Outstanding Achievement in Comedy: Louie, FX
Career Achievement Award: David Letterman
Heritage Award: Cheers
Program of the Year: Game of Thrones, HBO