Marissa Mayer Takes On Yahoo! And The Mommy Wars

07/18/2012 10:00 am by

By now you’ve heard the kerfuffle over Yahoo!’s new CEO, Marissa Mayer, and if you haven’t, please tell me the location of the rock you live under, and do you have room for one more?

Yahoo! announced Monday that Mayer — Google’s 20th employee and first female engineer — has been hired to breathe new life into the struggling company, but all anyone seems to care about is the life gestating inside her. Spawning the latest battle in The Mommy Wars, it turns out Mayer is not only six months pregnant, but intends to work throughout her brief maternity leave. What should be a celebration of women in leadership roles and the evolution of the corporate mindset has instead been overshadowed by criticism of Mayer for setting false expectations of motherhood.

Marissa Mayer Marissa Mayer Takes On Yahoo! And The Mommy Wars

“I… WHAT, now?” — Marissa Mayer, upon realizing she’s signed on to revive a floundering corporation, oh and also represent working mothers and women everywhere if you don’t mind, thanks!

I know what you’re thinking: Yahoo! still exists? That aside, the internet is up in arms over Mayer’s decision to forego a full maternity leave. One camp is worried about what this will mean for women; will we all be expected, or feel pressured, to return to work immediately after giving birth? Another group sits back smugly awaiting her failure, certain that’s exactly what she’ll do given this is her first child and she has no idea what she’s getting into. Another yet chimes in to remind us, helpfully, that men don’t struggle with these decisions (not the least notably because men don’t possess uteri).

Pregnant Man Marissa Mayer Takes On Yahoo! And The Mommy WarsCorrection: *most* men. 

As for me, my expectations of mothers and motherhood haven’t changed as a result of Mayer’s announcement. As always, I still expect mothers to be free to make the decisions that best suit them and their families, and I expect the public at large not to judge them for those decisions. TALK ABOUT FALSE EXPECTATIONS.

I think it’s safe to say, though, that if you weren’t a CEO before becoming pregnant, you’re probably in the clear of any expectation to be one after the fact. So for those who feel threatened by Mayer’s personal choices, let’s remember that no one person represents an entire population. Mothers have always made headlines, and there are no expectations of you to follow in their footsteps as a result. In some cases, it’s highly discouraged.

Kourtney Kardashian and Every Celebrity Who Has Bounced Back To Her Pre-Pregnancy State Immediately Post-Baby

Kourtney Kardashian cover Marissa Mayer Takes On Yahoo! And The Mommy Wars

Ladies, not only are you not expected to hop out of the stirrups and take a meeting on declining market shares, nobody’s expecting you to walk out of the hospital in the skinny jeans you wore when you conceived your little bundle of pressure to measure up. If bouncing back to your pre-pregnancy state isn’t what pays the bills — and particularly if you don’t have the trainers and chefs and nannies and housekeepers and assistants on hand to support you in achieving that goal — we’ll all understand that you’re a normal person with normal life demands and it’s going to take some time. This is what Lycra is for.

Mariah Carey, CEO of Extravagance

Dem Babies Marissa Mayer Takes On Yahoo! And The Mommy Wars

Unless you’re one of the best-selling music artists of all time, you shouldn’t feel inferior for not throwing your kid’s first birthday party in Paris — complete with black-tie attire — as Mariah Carey recently did. Nobody’s judging your Carvel ice cream cake and backyard moon bounce, aside from your kid once he catches a glimpse of little Monroe Cannon’s sweet baby Ferrari. But your kid will always judge you; that’s the only realistic expectation of motherhood.

Britney Spears and Other Generally Questionable Parents 

Spears Lohan Marissa Mayer Takes On Yahoo! And The Mommy Wars

More than any other, it’s important to understand that this category especially does not represent motherhood. They actually set expectations so low, it’s hard not to look like Mother of the Year in comparison. Forget any pressure to return to work before your episiotomy can scab over; as long as you’re not driving with your infant on your lap a la Britney or exploiting one kid after another Dina Lohan-style, rest assured you could be doing a lot worse.

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About Melissa

Melissa is a full-time-working mother of three who thinks sleep is highly overrated, but only because she doesn't get any. She may be a little bitter about that. When she's not working for the man or trying to figure out why there's an extra kid in her back yard, she spends her free time curled up in the fetal position, mumbling about the laundry pile growing exponentially by the minute and seriously contemplating relocation to a nudist colony.

Filed Under: Internet, Mariah Carey, Music, Parenthood Tagged With: , , , ,


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  • http://baltimoregal.blogspot.com/ baltimoregal

    And yet, just underneath this article, “Kate Hudson’s post baby body in a string bikini”

  • HeatherMSM47

    There is def room under the rock I’ve been under if you need it. That being said, this makes me a little stabby. I believe she has made the right choice for her and that’s cool with me. I do wonder though…have people forgotten that there are people in this world that don’t have maternity leave? That have to choose to go back to work at 4 weeks because financially they cannot make it? I just dont understand the mommy war attitude…honestly I dont

    • MDub2000

      I definitely thought of that, but wanted to focus on the ridiculousness of the scrutiny and had to hold myself back on every tangent I was tempted to go off on lest I never finish this post, one being the fact that some women don’t even have a choice to make about maternity leave. Another that had my blood pressure soaring is the fact that Mayer is Yahoo’s 5th CEO since 2009. She’s preceded by three men before her whose failures can hardly be attributed to motherhood, but sadly, if she fails, that’s likely the first factor the critics will point to. You don’t get to the CEO level without having a sense of anticipation of the challenges that lie ahead, so I’m sure she has the support group in place she’ll need to be successful. I’m rooting for her.

      • HeatherMSM47

        Me too. I really, really hope she succeeds

      • Tasterspoon

        SUCH a good point about where blame will fall if she fails. I don’t know the back story at all, but I must say I’m impressed that the board offered her the job at all, assuming it was sincere and not just to line her up as the next scapegoat. I worry for her, because I remember how wiped out my baby left me, but I’m completely rooting for her. As the 20th Google employee she has to be filthy rich, so maybe she has lots of help lined up. I have a lawyer friend who was taking calls in the hospital the day after she gave birth, *because she wanted to*. To each her own.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=723856406 Ann Bibby

    Not a hidey rock, but definitely on the sidelines and aloof. Tired of this tired war. And as Heather points out, mat leave is not the reality of most women in the US. Why are we going to “war” about that?

  • http://twitter.com/ladyjess78 Jessi Jump

    I am the first to say that mommy warring is stupid and we should all just stop. I guess my hang-up with this is that in a nation where we are fighting day in and day out to get companies to respect maternity leave and provide something loosely equivalent to what many other nations receive, I don’t think this is a point in our favor. You know, I think she should be able to do whatever she wants, but I do think that in this case, what she wants will be pointed to for the next decade as an example of how it’s okay not to allow women the leave that they need.

    In other words, it’s all fair and good to say that women should take leave or not take it as they see fit, but most women will never have the opportunity unless we can convince those in power that it is a necessary and important thing to provide for women.

    • MDub2000

      I get that sentiment to a degree, but I also feel strongly that she shouldn’t have to cheat herself out of her own aspirations to make a statement for all women. One woman opting to work during maternity leave shouldn’t set back the cause for an entire nation. As if she doesn’t have enough on her plate being a CEO and a new mom, the very people who argue she’s doing too much as it is want to pile the responsibility of being an example to working mothers onto it, which just seems a little counterintuitive.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jennifer-Morgan-Knox/1537184132 Jennifer Morgan-Knox

        I really respect all opinions here and think the post and comments are good ones. I just have to wonder why the length of her MAT leave was even released. Shareholder reassurace, I assume. I just think it could have been handled better by a company that could benefit from a little lady love. They have a PR dept…so spin it a little and make it a bit more palatable. Instead they are choosing to frame her up as a Viking…which again, is totally fine but a bad call in my opinion. I think they’ve missed an opportunity to “Sarah Jessica Parker” it a bit and give a gracious shout out to the working ladies all through the country who don’t have nannies or cooks or drivers. A chance to say, “Yahoo is a great place that fully supports a woman’s right to take their maternity leave. They’ve got a huge support structure in place that will make it possible for me to hit the ground running quickly” or whatever. Again, this isn’t HER responsibility but it’s a missed PR opportunity to score some points with people with ovaries who may surf the web. That’s all I’m saying….

        • MDub2000

          That’s an excellent point. Perhaps the PR fail is just one of Yahoo’s many troubles, and on Mayer’s overhaul list.

  • Tari

    Plenty of room under my cable-free, two children 5 and under rock. Mind the dog fur, laundry and dishes. (thus the reasons I tend to ignore mommy wars) Well written article-I wish ms. Mayer much success.