Jilted sparkly vampire Robert Pattinson was sighted in a cowboy bar in Ojai this weekend, near Reese Witherspoon’s ranch house, where Pattinson is reportedly nursing his wounds. Despite his recent split from girlfriend Kristen Stewart following her affair with director Rupert Sanders, Pattinson seemed to be in good spirits according to observers, who flocked to Twitter to report their sightings:
“Robert Pattinson and his friends are at The Deer Lodge geting wasted.” “Rob is with some panty droppers.They’re on the dance floor dancing like crazy.” – Twitter user Julie Demdam
Pattinson himself, according to observers, was not “getting wasted” like his friends, but appeared to be in good spirits as he took in the scene. But I still feel like he’s probably hurting under the surface. You know, Rob, I’ve heard the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else…and I am sure you’ll have no shortage of volunteers. Actually, I think I see our own Kristine jumping up and down waving her arms and screaming, “I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE!” Oops, wrong movie.
Oscar winner Natalie Portman got hitched to ballet dancer and baby daddy Benjamin Millepied this weekend.
The Jewish wedding ceremony was held in Big Sur, California at a private home. I was in California this weekend and am super butt hurt that nobody invited me.
Do they have driving school for teen stars? Because, I swear, some of these starlets could really use some behind the wheel instruction. Amanda Bynes, frequent vehicular terrorist, is accused of getting into a hit-and-run this weekend, striking the car of another woman, identified only as “Kisa”, with her black BMW.
Although the woman pulled out her insurance information, she says Bynes declined to do the same and apparently noted that the damage didn’t look very bad. Bynes then said there was no need to exchange information, even though Kisa says there was “significant damage” to Bynes’ BMW.
Kisa reported the hit-and-run to police after Bynes left. The former star of All That already has a booking for a DUI (which she contests) and was spotted shortly after that arrest driving on a sidewalk and then failing at u-turns. Amanda: consider a car service.
And finally, Elton John just cannot stop talking shit about Madonna, to the point where, if I didn’t know he was gayer than an Easter bonnet, I’d swear those two were 15 seconds away from a vigorous hate fuck. (Though, really, is there really anything gayer than Madonna?)
Liberace 2.0 declares that Madonna’s career is “over” and that she resembles a “fucking fairground stripper.” Oh man, three snaps in Z formation, Elton! That was way harsh.
John’s criticism is unsurprising—he’s totally Team Gaga, after all. But the fervor of his criticism (however bitingly on-target it is) has gotten to a point where it bears mentioning that John himself hasn’t made a good record since the Nixon administration (or the Right Honourable Sir Edward Heath administration, if you prefer).