So. Ven. It’s like that, then?
Yes. It is like that.
Holy self-inflicted character assassination, Batman! While I feel like I can usually sniff out the loser/redemption/villain edits from a mile away, I admit I did NOT see Ven’s (horrid, inexcusable, loathsome) behavior coming. He seemed a touch stiff and pretentious at times, but he also seemed fairly…grounded? Serious about his craft and understanding of what’s salable and practical, including the fact that women larger than sample sizes would likely be his potential customers? (Especially after going on a show like Project Runway, which is absolutely watched by millions of “real women” who then look to buy the clothes IN OUR SIZE on freaking Piperlime or Bluefly or whatever?)
I don’t even know how to wring any humor out of the whole….Ven…thing (makes bitchy circular motion with wide-open hand), because I still feel so badly for his client, who is probably wishing the whole world would move on and shut up about it already. His treatment of her was terrible. His skirt was terrible. His blouse was even more terrible-er. She looks bigger than she actually is because he clearly refused to even ATTEMPT to accentuate the positives, probably because he refused to acknowledge that a plus-sized girl even HAS positives. (Hello! She’s curvy and busty with a cute little waist! You don’t put that in a satin tarp and a high-waisted tube!)
I knew they were just trying to rattle and scare him with the “maybe possibly” double elimination thing, and it didn’t even seem to WORK, because he remained adamant that the challenge was “rigged” to stick him with the biggest, most-plus-sized, awful dowdy client in the room. (Remains adamant to this day, apparently, if you look at his Twitter stream from the night this episode aired.)
(Pro Tip: Do not look at his Twitter stream from the night this episode aired. You will want to punch things.)
Anyway. I don’t want to talk about this anymore, ESPECIALLY since it’s too tempting to engage in some revenge-y bodysnark, so let’s move on.
(HEY VEN MAYBE LOOK INTO SOME SPANX YOURSELF THERE, BIG GUY.)
I am now firmly Team These Two.
Though Sonji-With-The-Silent-A did have some missteps herself. The measurements and proportions of this (boring) dress are all wrong — it’s too short, that twisty thing is several inches too high, like Sonjia didn’t realize her client was sporting a fairly impressive rack under her hoodie. Not to mention Sonjia’s personal style and accessorizing are completely overshadowing her work here, which will only make the judges wonder why the hell someone so innately fabulous produced something so…blah and generic.
Comrade Snape (TM MajorBedhead) also went the boring route (that is the SADDEST v-neckline in the world and I just want to attack it with some scissors), but at least his client got some fiercer styling. Though I predict that the next morning she woke up and tried to replicate that kicky little haircut on her own and ended up with a deflated mullet. But he was nice and charming and we learned that 1) he’s getting understandably upset at always coming in second, and 2) he used to be a ballroom dancer, which is both a) weird, and b) MAKES TOTAL SENSE.
As for Gunny H. Bitchpants here, I think the producers expected us to all be surprised that HE wasn’t the big, awful Jeffrey-Sebelia-type monster to his client. But really, I think we actually finally got to see Gunnar just be…Gunnar, rather than the affected “character” he showed up determined to play. While the judges keep rewarding his shitty construction and underwhelming designs with Top 3 spots week after week, I think last week’s picked-last-for-dodgeball-and-sidelined-by-his-team experience made the whole faux-villain schtick a little less fun for him. Anyway, I’m glad he made his client so happy and was a total sweetheart to her, but Jesus On A Baby Triscuit, that dress DID NOT FIT HER. AT ALL. The bustline was (like Sonji’s) waaaay too small and high, with bonus wonky, crooked seams. At some point the judges are going to notice that this guy can barely sew a straight line, right?
Right?
Hello?
Gah.
But at least the judges got off their Gunnar crack-horse and stopped short of awarding him the WIN, which rightfully went to Fabio and his adorable client. I agree that the accessorizing is completely wack — I will never understand the compulsion to slap an extraneous belt on every dress ever in the first place, and this particular belt was especially wrong — but this is a GREAT little dress. Also:
AWWWWWW! You guys!
Hey Ven! What do you think of that genuine display of happy loving emotion, Ven?
beeeep does not compute beeeeeeppppp error error
And finally, we say goodbye to…shit. What’s his name again? The hipster sort with the glasses? No, not that one. The other one.
Nathan! We said goodbye to Nathan. No arguments here, because this was so, so bad in so, so many ways. I get that his client obviously had no taste and basically asked for a budget Heidi short-tight-shiny look (with bonus exposed midriff!), but NATHAN presumably has taste and should have known better than to attempt black netting sleeves and mesh cut-outs down the thighs and…yeah. Yikes.
Next time: Elena cries and walks out of the workroom. So like, a rerun but not. Okay.
About Amy Corbett Storch
