Stephen King has been working on a sequel to The Shining, and I will pause now so that you can barricade yourselves into your cubicles and sit quaking beneath piles of discarded toner boxes and/or dirty towels depending on what you have available. Fun Fact: ghosts HATE dirty towels and the fresh smell of toner, so stock up accordingly. It’s even more effective if you rub them together into a paste! Ghost Repellent™ will be released in safety packs with each hardcover edition of Doctor Sleep.
The Shining was first published in 1977, flew straight up to bestseller class ding ding ding!, and was adapted into Stanley Kubrick’s pants-wettingly memorable movie version three years later. It’s been one of King’s most popular stories, in part because it’s “pretty awesome” and in part thanks to Kubrick and Jack Nicholson’s mercury-lined madness.
Funnily enough, the latter will probably be the one thing that eventually sends Stephen King spinning into his grave–Kubrick’s Shining is the only movie version of one of his stories he absolutely abhors, showing once again that space madness strikes without logic or discrimination and leaves even the best of us eating soap. As much as I respect Stephen King, that movie was a tall, strong badass baller imported from the land of pure terror (Britain). Don’t hate, Kingboy, it makes you look green around the gills.
Please to be setting your calendars for September 24th, 2013 for the official release of Doctor Sleep. According to a few tantalizing back-cover snippets from King’s official website, the squeequel will reunite readers with Danny all grown up and still living with the shinin’. We have to call him ‘Dan’ now, because that’s how you know he’s old and serious with a flowering growth of body hair, and Dan is still coping with the torturous events that fucked up his past all real bad like.
There’s some mention of a group of traveling evil suckers called ‘The True Knot’ who feed on those who have the shining, and dare I say it sounds a lot like Twilight‘s Volturi? Except of course that Stephen King is a professional author with skill, craft, and vocabulary and Stephanie Meyer is an unmitigated hack, so I’m sure it will be appropriately mystical and terrifying, and then maybe in 2016 they can make another movie so good that Stephen King won’t even watch it.