Look, Game Change, I’m really happy for you and imma let you finish, but Sherlock is the GREATEST TV MOVIE OR MINISERIES OF ALL TIME. Okay?
But, fine, whatever, Academy of Television Arts & Sciences – we already know you’re not interested in giving the right people their due (except those totally legit best writing wins for MamaPop’s Honorary Boyfriend, Louis CK), because you’re clearly too busy licking Modern Family‘s butthole daily and nightly to watch Masterpiece Theater.
Anyway, my boyfriend Benedict Cumberbatch just called to tell me I can call off the protest rally I had planned, because Benny (that’s my pet name, because we are very close and practically engaged to be married) is totally cool with not winning your inferior American television award. And that is because he’s too busy living out one of his life’s dreams: playing a Bond villain.
Slated for a 2014 release, this will be the fourth Daniel Craig Bond movie, following this year’s upcoming Skyfall. For those of you who don’t know or are just plain wrong, the most recent string of Bond films starring Craig are hands-down the best of the franchise. You can take your prissy Bonds who are more concerned with the cut of their tux and the way you mix their martinis. I want the Bond with the blood stain on his collar and the flinty look in his eye that says he’d be totally unfazed about killing you with his swizzle stick if you so much as looked at him funny. And I want him to have a formidable foil, a Moriarty to his Sherlock, if you will.
Saaaay, know who knows a bunch about Sherlock? OH, THAT’S RIGHT, MY BOYFRIEND BENNY CUMBERBATCH.
I’m sorry. I’m just a little excited. See, as much as I’ve loved the last two Bond movies, a Bond is only as strong as his villain. Le Chiffre was just okay for me, and I can’t even tell you who was the big bad in Quantum of Solace (I think it was an Aston Martin DB5S). However, Benedict Cumberbatch has enough presence to make for the sort of Bond villain who can compete with the likes of Ernest Dtavro Blofeld and Auric Goldfinger.
I know it’s probably a long shot, but is anyone else out there as excited as I am?