B@@! Ke$ha wakes up in the morning feelin’ like P. Diddy…if he, you know, had sex with someone who wasn’t there.
The pop singer paid a visit to KIIS FM in L.A. (where Ryan Seacrest hangs out when he’s not running your life) and told the radio host that her new album Warrior was inspired by sexy paranormal experiences and baby lions.
In fact, explained Ke$ha…
“Explained.”
…Warrior track “Paranormal” was inspired by a literal sexy paranormal experience with a ghost, whose name she didn’t know. Tsk, tsk. Banging a figment of your imagination—or of the carbon monoxide leak in your mansion—is bad enough. But anonymous sex with no one is a bridge too far. Woman-who-spells-her-name-with-a-symbol, I’m surprised at you!
I’m also a wee bit worried about you. Your tales of a spiritual journey sound a bit far-fetched.
It’s okay, Ke$ha, You can tell Mo££y.
“The theme of this record is magic. I went on a spirit journey by myself. No security guard. No managers. I just went around the world and lived on a boat…I was in Africa rehabilitating baby lions. I went diving with great white sharks, and just went on this crazy spirit quest.”
Snuggling baby lions? Swimming with great whites? Did you have a spiritual quest or fall asleep drunk in front of an episode of Jonny Quest?
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! The lion has Ke$ha!”
I don’t want to slam your good intentions, Ke$ha. I’ve heard your trip to Africa was motivated by a deep, unabiding yearning to save endangered species.
*throat clear* *cough* Lookatyourhat *cough*
Oh and:
In her defense, it’s not LION fur.
Here’s the deal, Ke$ha – I like you. Your songs are catchy. I like your plucky story (of basically stalking Prince to leave a demo at his house). I like your make-up.
Mr. Wonka told you and told you: he’s still working on the formula. Look what you’ve gone and done to your eye.
But if you think claiming some spiritual revelation makes you edgy or gives you dimension, consider that in the same week that another over-the-top popster took on fat shaming (all hail, Lady Gaga!), you told the host of American Idol you pity-effed Slimer.
Ju$t s@ying.
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