Every so often I find a topic online that I find so fascinating, I read until my eyes bleed (don’t you? I mean that’s why the Internet works, right?) and most recently the topic I followed down that digital rabbit hole of information was that beloved celebrity money-sucker: Scientology.
So it’s fitting then that one of today’s top gossip headlines is touting trouble in paradise for the enigmatic church and its most famous devotee.
See? I am totally sane.
Hold on…I’m waiting for my Internet connection to get mysteriously shut down. Okay, I think we’re good.
You guys: I think Tom and Xenu might be breaking up.
I remember the day I first realized Tom Cruise was crazy. It was back around that whole Oprah’s Couch/Calling-Matt-Lauer-Glib debacle when I realized that my once-childhood-crush was damn near (no, totally) cuckoo for e-meters.
Tommy’s love affair with the brain child of L. Ron Hubbard dates back beyond his Days of Thunder, but it wasn’t until after his divorce from Nicole that things really started to heat up between the two. And as anyone with a Vanity Fair subscription and/or an internet connection knows, it’s rumored that Tom’s church even went so far as to find him a Scientology-friendly wife. That’s where I got swept away — underground factions and Rebel Bloggers, and tales of escape so dramatic you’re sure they must’ve made this stuff up kept me reading and reading and reading for hours. And at the center of these crazy stories…Tom Cruise.
But now Star Magazine (hitting newsstands tomorrow) is reporting Tom might be backing away from the organization that has appeared to have such a stronghold on his shiny, toothy self, spending more time with non-Scientologist friends (gasp!).
It’s weird that the church hasn’t encouraged him to stop making these faces in public.
Could it be Katie Holmes’ sole custody of Suri that’s prompting this change? Scientology’s got a pesky policy of “suggesting” family members “disconnect” from relatives who have left the church (yes, even spouses and children) and by all accounts, Tom is as devoted to Suri as he is to Xenu.
Only time will tell, and I will [block out the fact that an innocent child is involved and] watch with fascination.
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