Jack Osbourne Finds Naked Photos of Ozzy, World Mouth-Vomits In Unison

09/10/2012 1:00 pm by

It’s recently come to light that Jack Osbourne, son of tattooed/mumbling/foot-shuffling/heavy-metal master Ozzy Osbourne, stumbled upon naked photos of his dad while filming the documentary God Bless Ozzy Osbourne last year.

I’ll pause for a moment to allow you to assemble that image in your mind. Need help? Here.

Ozzy Osbourne knuckles 590x331 Jack Osbourne Finds Naked Photos of Ozzy, World Mouth Vomits In Unison

What? Did you think I’d really post a nudie photo of him? Ew.

Right. So…disgusting thought, yes? Now, imagine the repulsive notion of seeing your own dad naked. Now Ozzy. Now your dad. It’s pretty much a cocktail of nausea. It’s also nothing to be proud of, which is why I assume that Jack didn’t come out with this “information” until now. Jack Osbourne was recently diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, which is horrible, sad news. This is just the icing on the moldy, tabloid news cake that is his 2012.

While naked Ozzy is a gross enough thought, there are other celebrity dads out there that people simply DO NOT need to see naked. I mean, we can all agree that say, Brad Pitt or Jude Law could get naked and there would be much internet rejoicing. (Of course, there would still be undeniable trauma should their children be the discovery-makers.)

HOWEVER, celebrities such as Will Ferrell, Hulk Hogan, or Steve Buscemi? NO THANKS.

Will Ferrell Semi Pro 590x442 Jack Osbourne Finds Naked Photos of Ozzy, World Mouth Vomits In Unison

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD KEEP THE BASKETBALL RIGHT THERE.

Hulk Hogan no thanks 590x885 Jack Osbourne Finds Naked Photos of Ozzy, World Mouth Vomits In Unison

Do you think he keeps the do-rag on?

steve buscemi side eye 590x332 Jack Osbourne Finds Naked Photos of Ozzy, World Mouth Vomits In Unison

Listen, you’re awesome in Boardwalk Empire. It’s just…NO ONE wants to see you naked.

I mean, nothing personal to these guys (well, maybe to Hulk Hogan) – they all are masters of their specific crafts. (Okay, maybe I just need to remove Hulk Hogan from that list.) Ozzy is no exception. Metal would not be where it is today without the likes of him.

However, let this serve as a lesson to ALL fathers, celebrity or not: If you take naked photos of yourself and then keep them like some sort of fool, your kids will find them. Most children will suffer from “I can never look at my dad the same”-itis, but others (mostly children of celebrities) may just decide they hate you enough to send them to the tabloids. Ozzy had the good fortune that his son isn’t that kind of kid. You might not be so lucky.

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About Jenna Marie Bee

Jenna, aka Mrs. Jenna, lives in Minneapolis and bows to the altar of Prince and the New Power Generation, as required by Minnesota law. When she's not being mom/wife/employee of the year, she blogs at Blogged Bliss and gets her Twitter on @jennamariebee.

Filed Under: Brad Pitt, Celebrities, Celebrity Dads, Internet, News, Ozzy Osbourne Tagged With: , , , , ,


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  • http://twitter.com/pgoodness Dawn

    I really wish I hadn’t just eaten lunch.

  • http://twitter.com/thegrumbles the grumbles

    yes, he keeps the do-rag on. and probably one for mini-hulk too. VOMIT.

    • http://twitter.com/jennamariebee Mrs. Jenna

      What if he really calls it the mini-hulk? I don’t feel so good.

      • http://twitter.com/the818 Morgan (The818)

        OMG. OMG I can’t even.

  • Tiffany Reese

    Mrs. Jenna you are hilarious.

  • Snarky_Amber

    I actually had to fact check you that Steve Buscemi has a kid because I was fairly certain NO ONE was having sex with that. (don’t get me wrong, I love him as an actor, but my brain shuts down at the thought of him as a sexual being.)

    • http://twitter.com/jennamariebee Mrs. Jenna

      Right? I need to meet this woman and shake her hand. Or check her eyesight.

      • thepapermama

        Ha ha! Well, he’s a great actor. And, he’s smart?

    • Suzanne

      I…no. NO. I refuse to believe he procreated. Again, no offense meant to his acting skills. Love his stuff. But NO NO NO.

  • DianaCLT

    I think I’d actually rather see Buscemi nekkid than Will Ferrell. Ferrell enjoys stripping down far too much, and his chest hair is just too weird for words (and I have a hairy husband!). Buscemi is odd-looking, true, but Ferrell…nuh-uh.

  • http://www.lifescandy.com/ Mae (Life’s Candy)

    I should have known you were going to try to make me vomit.

  • SuzyQuzey

    Maybe the woman who procreated with Steve B put a bag over his head (the big one)?

  • http://twitter.com/lisrock Miss Lis

    First of all,Steve Buscemi? I’d TOTALLY hit that. In a hot minute, meow. Second, I’ve often wondered how Pam and Tommy’s kids are gonna feel when they find out about mom and dads little movie adventure…Third, I’d gouge out my own eyes with a melon baller before I’d let Hulk Hogan anywhere near my lady parts, and even then I would still need to be dead. And on fire.

  • http://twitter.com/the818 Morgan (The818)

    This did not make me feel happy. Oh…the horror.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jpopadich Jacki Setta Popadich

    I can’t get over how much Ozzy looks like David Lee Roth in that picture up top.

    • http://twitter.com/jennamariebee Mrs. Jenna

      I KNOW. I did like, a triple-take to be sure it was him.

  • http://www.sweetney.com Sweetney

    Disturbing -slash- haunting subject matter, but great post! :)

  • Tyskkvinna

    gahh

  • http://twitter.com/notsuperjustmom Miranda

    Okay so now I’m imagining if Steve Buscemi had been naked when he rode the nuclear bomb in Armageddon. “I just wanted to feel the power between my legs…”

    So thanks for that. :(

    (Great job, lady!)

  • http://twitter.com/babyrabies Jill Krause

    Worse than finding out your dad has naked photos, what of the next generations whose “celebrity” parents have SEX TAPES? For this reason alone, Kim Kardashian probably shouldn’t have children.

    • frogprof

      I’m glad you qualified that with “For this reason alone.” But I can think of at LEAST 37 reasons why Kim K shouldn’t reproduce.