In a not-so-shocking display of pompous assholery, Kanye West has decided, on behalf of Kim Kardashian‘s body, that it needs some fine tuning. Especially if it’s going to be Kanye’s personal model for his upcoming clothing line.
In an attempt to—who-knows-what-the-fuck—flatter(?) Kim, ‘Ye is having her don all of his latest threads. However, he has insisted the only way that will ever happen is if Kim hops on a strict diet, and by “diet” he means starving herself on cayenne pepper, lemon, and honey. OHMYGAHTHISISGOINGTOBESOFUN! ::stab stab stab::
Mmmm…tastes like burning. May also result in the eating of babies.
It has yet to be confirmed whether or not this strict proposition is truly on the table, but Kanye’s past track record when it comes to speaking his mind about how he feels leads us to believe that this conversation totally happened.
Not surprisingly, we shouldn’t put it past Kim to accept his orders comply, because if she already purged her wardrobe for the dude, who’s to say she won’t purge her signature curve by way of butt juice? Who is to say? Not me. I can’t be the authority figure here. I’m sort of fond of my mic time…ahem.
Imma let you finish that salad, but NO I’M NOT! BITCH, DROP THE FORK!
In the interest of preserving humanity (even Kim Kardashian’s), let’s hope this nonsense isn’t true. Or, if Kanye is dead.fucking.serious about getting Kim to slim the assets to fit into the line, that it is less by way of liquid ass death and more by way of an intense rocking of the body with a trainer.
Out of sheer spite, someone buy Kim a cheeseburger.
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