Lindsay Lohan “Brushes” Pedestrian With Her Porsche…Who Hasn’t?!


Troubled starlet Lindsay Lohan was arrested in New York City early this morning for leaving the scene of an accident.  Said accident involved her trying to negotiate her Porsche through a crowd outside the Dream Hotel in the Meatpacking District.  ”Negotiate,” as in, “Wait, am I on sidewalk or the street?  Whatevs.”

 Lindsay Lohan Brushes Pedestrian With Her Porsche...Who Hasnt?!

Stars! They’re just like us!

A 36-year-old man approached LiLo to say she caught him in the leg while she was driving, albeit slowly — several reports say she “brushed” him.  LiLo listened intently to her alleged victim.  And then went to the club.

 Lindsay Lohan Brushes Pedestrian With Her Porsche...Who Hasnt?!

Lohan was later arrested and released after being ordered to appear in court on a misdemeanor count of leaving the scene.  The man she allegedly hit was taken to Bellevue Hospital complaining of knee pain.

Philosophical question:  how can Lindsay Lohan leave the scene when she is the scene?

Furthermore, while Lindsay Lohan is to blame for her share of trouble…

 Lindsay Lohan Brushes Pedestrian With Her Porsche...Who Hasnt?!

Yes, you.

…should we always just accept at face value that she is in the wrong?  Do we have a reason to trust her?  No.  But she’s not the President.  She’s (probably) not a friend or relative of anyone reading this site.  Hell, she’s not even someone selling us a Slap-Chop.

 Lindsay Lohan Brushes Pedestrian With Her Porsche...Who Hasnt?!

There comes a point in life when we choose grate-ness or we don’t.

So does it really matter that Lindsay Lohan hasn’t earned our trust?  That doesn’t mean that no one will ever take advantage of her trainwreck status and put himself in harm’s way by walking too close to her car or by deliberately getting in her way (or loaning her money, letting her housesit, letting her walk his dog, taking her to Claire’s with empty pockets, or giving her some Sea Monkeys to raise).

 Lindsay Lohan Brushes Pedestrian With Her Porsche...Who Hasnt?!

No offense, but I wouldn’t give her sea monkeys to *kill.* She’d probably accidentally create a nuclear accident.

I’m not saying that the injured party in Porschegate is at fault or lying, but why do we all  bypass the second thought?

Here at MamaPop, we —along with every blogger on the planet, 33% of kids writing college application essays, and 2% of first graders practicing their letters—have written extensively on Lindsay Lohan‘s many missteps.  We’ve worried aloud about her grasp on reality, her addiction, the people around her that might not have her best interests in mind.

Dina Lohan Lindsay Lohan Brushes Pedestrian With Her Porsche...Who Hasnt?!

Actually, Dina Lohan may be the greatest mother ever. “Don’t look at my daughter, slumped in a corner, slowly slipping into a perpetual cycle of crime and self-abuse. LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEE!”

But maybe what we need to worry about most (lately) is whether or not she should ever leave the house in a major metropolitan area.  She has done such a bang-up job turning the world against her that what her parents, agent, friends, siblings, or legal reps need to warn her against isn’t partying or shopping or girl-fights or cigarettes.  It’s, simply going outside for any significant period of time.  Disappear for while, Linz.  Right now, the world is a hungry Chuck Jones cartoon and you are a giant ham.  The world is hungry to watch you fall faster.  Yeah, you earned it, but you don’t have to keep earning it.

source, source, source, source, source

About Molly Martin

Molly lives and works in Indianapolis, primarily because of her rabid devotion to "One Day at a Time." Continues to lobby city leaders to change city slogan to "Dammit, Julie!"



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  • Snarky_Amber

    If I were Lindsay, I would hire someone to drive me places, and then I would go to places that aren’t bars, clubs, Chateau Marmont, jewelry stores, or parties for at least a year. I would also focus on surrounding myself with people who are healthy for me and maybe work on making a name for myself for being talented, not for being a once-promising child actor turned synonym-for-trainwreck.

    • DianaCLT

      Dude. I’d SO much prefer to be a trainwreck than be LiLo. Truth.

      • MollyGMartin

        I picture you with a little stripey conductor hat, under twisted metal, saying, “at least I wasn’t in Herbie!!!”

        • DianaCLT

          *Snortlaffing!*

    • MollyGMartin

      I sorta wish you were her mom.

  • SuzyQuzey

    This, a day after she slammed Amanda Bynes.

    PS: That Slap Chop guy is dead.

    • Snarky_Amber

      No he isn’t!

      • SuzyQuzey

        Ack, you’re right. I was thinking about that other infomercial guy. Long live Slap Chop!

        • MollyGMartin

          *Recovering from vapors*. I do think Slap Chop dude was briefly jailed…

  • http://twitter.com/jennamariebee Mrs. Jenna

    I’m confused – is that really Dina Lohan? Or is that Kristen Wiig pretending to be Dina Lohan? Or is that Lindsay Lohan pretending to be Dina Lohan? OR is it Dinah Lohan making fun of herself? Where am I? Why aren’t celebrities using limos more?

    • MollyGMartin

      Oh my gawd, she does look like a Wiig character. I think my brain just ‘sploded