It’s inevitable. Each fall, I get excited about all of the new shows—dramas (often medical), comedies, thrillers, shows that try to be the new LOST (which may or may not contain actors who actually were on LOST)—get somewhat emotionally invested no matter how awful it may or may not be and then — BAM! — by the third episode, the show has already gotten the boot. See: The Playboy Club.
Yes, I watched it.
No, I’m not proud.
Apparently, word on the street is that 65% of new television series will be canceled before the end of the first season. This, of course, makes me wonder which shows in 2012′s crop of new ones will be in that coveted 35% and which will go the way of The Playboy Club and get the boot before anyone has a chance to watch their DVRed episodes of it. I fancy myself an expert in choosing the real stinkers, because I have this horrible habit of watching shows that no one else on the planet watches. Confession: sometimes I watch Whitney. On purpose.
I could have told you that the awful tween show on the CW about witches was going to get canceled. How did I know? I was the only one watching it. I could have told you that the medical drama that took place on an island somewhere—Off the Map, maybe—was getting the boot, because, well, I watched it. See? I really am an expert.
So, you heard it here first: The First Fall 2012 Television Shows to Get Canceled.
1. Animal Practice (NBC, Wednesdays at 8pm). Weeds, while it was still worth watching, made me a huge fan of Justin Kirk. But I don’t know how much he can save a show about an unorthodox New York City veterinarian. I’m a fan of animals, but this one just may be a little too Dr. Doolittle meets Ace Ventura for my tastes.
2. The Mob Doctor (FOX, Mondays at 9pm) and Emily Owens, M.D. (The CW, Tuesdays at 9pm). Here we have TWO medical dramas for the price of one. Medical dramas are tough. Everyone wants another ER or Grey’s Anatomy, so they play around with cities and situations, like throwing a mob twist into the mix, only these shows don’t bring anything new and original to the table. The Mob Doctor takes place in Chicago and Emily Owens is—surprise!—a new doctor who realizes that the drama in a hospital is not all that much different than the drama of high school. Recycled a little bit too much, I think.
3. The Neighbors (NBC, Wednesdays at 8:30pm). The neighbors are aliens. No, really. ALIENS.
4. Chicago Fire (NBC, Wednesdays at 10pm). This one is going to fail for one simple reason—I am going to fall immediately in love with it. I mean…firemen? In Chicago? Hot heroes ahoy! It will be just like Pan Am all over again.
5. Ben and Kate (FOX, Tuesdays at 8:30 pm). Single mother and her loser-ish, man-child brother raise her five-year-old child. YAWN.