A sketchy, uncorroborated report in British tabloid The Sun indicates that Robsten – one part Robert Pattinson, one part Kristen Stewart, five parts studio PR agency fabrication – are back on again.
The couple cited their strong mutual aversions to smiling and shampoo as a foundation for their reconciliation.
(Oh, I’m sorry, Twihards, please excuse the fact that this article includes a healthy dose of skepticism, because bitch please.)
The pair reportedly had a “heart-to-heart,” wherein Rob accepted that Kristen’s dalliance with married director Rupert Sanders was a “one-off” and he’s totally forgiven it. Now, Sun claims, they’re OTP again, having hot, sparkly-vampire makeup sex up in Reese Witherspoon’s Ojai ranch. Meanwhile, the folks at Celebitchy share my side-eyed skepticism, adding that the two are either across the country from each other at the moment or on different continents, as other sources place Kristen in NYC and RPattz in either London or LA at the time the story broke.
Kristen Stewart a few weeks ago, looking “heartbroken.” (You guys, I think that’s just how her face looks.)
Oh, also? They were probably never actually a couple. See, movies are not real life, but studios recognize that many moviegoers can’t tell the difference and often ask their young stars to play kissy face for the camera to sell more tickets. This has been happening basically as long as there have been pictures with sound. Montgomery Clift was famously so totally in love with Elizabeth Taylor, his co-star in A Place in the Sun. I mean, you know, except when he was putting his peen into other dudes. Like, in a gay way.
And before you even start with me, Twihards, I’m not saying RPattz is gay (except if he is, in which case you heard it here fiftieth). I am saying this “relationship” is about as real as Kim Zolciak’s hair, but it puts asses in seats for a franchise waning in popularity and keeps your nail salon stocked with juicy new gossip rags.
Oh, by the way – Breaking Dawn Part II opens in exactly 60 days. Just saying.
OTP!!!!11
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