Divorce is messy, and when emotions are running high, it is sometimes hard to take the high road. Just ask Seal.
Over the weekend, TMZ “reporters” caught up with Seal Henry, who separated from supermodel and Project Runway host Heidi Klum in January. Addressing rumors that Heidi is now romantically involved with her bodyguard, Seal eschewed the characteristic tight-lipped celebrity response and issued this catty remark:
“Look boys, um, you know that’s what happens when two people separate—they move on, and that generally means other people in their lives. You know, I necessarily don’t expect Heidi to all of a sudden become a nun. But, as always, my main priority is the emotional well-being of our children, and to be quite honest, if there’s going to be somebody else in their lives, I’d much rather it was a familiar face. I guess the only thing I would have preferred…I would have preferred Heidi show a little bit more class and at least wait until we separated first before deciding to fornicate with the help, as it were….But I guess you now all have the answer that you’ve been looking for for the past seven months.”
And then TMZ “reporters” were all like, “THANK YOU SEAL FOR THE BEST SOUNDBITE EVER, BYEEE!” Seriously, could a gossip hound even dream of a bitchier, more candid response to such a personal question? I’m sure this is the sort of thing that makes a publicist’s butthole clench, but for someone who hears “no comment” a hundred times a day, that’s got to be a banner moment.
Anyway, after Heidi’s camp vehemently denied any cheating occurred and chided her ex for being so low as to imply otherwise, Seal issued another statement clarifying that he was not implying that Heidi cheated, but rather pointing out that they are still legally married. Seriously, dude? Don’t even front. You TOTALLY implied she cheated. I compare you to a kiss from a rose: THORN SIDE UP.
Also, you’d think if you were truly concerned with the emotional well-being of your children, you wouldn’t strongly imply—to the biggest gossip outfit in the nation—that their mother is a cuckolding floozy. Sources on Heidi’s side say this is all in line with Seal’s m.o. of lashing out abusively when he’s angry, which is the why Heidi called it a day on the seven-year marriage. Sources also indicate that Seal may be lashing out in response to the way divorce proceedings are going. While Seal has demanded a pretty hefty property settlement, the couple has a post-nuptial agreement that outlines exactly what each party is entitled to in the event of a divorce, and I’m guessing it’s substantially less than whatever chunk of Heidi’s $70 million he’s after.
I guess when it comes to the messy business of divorce, you’re never gonna survive unless you get a little crazy.