Ugh, you know who are total dicks? Terrorists.
On the eve of September 11, a rep for the Taliban (does everyone have a publicist now?) issued a statement to Reuters that the militant group has plans to kill or kidnap Prince Harry. If you don’t follow the affairs of British royals, that may sound far-fetched, but when Prince Harry is not exposing his “Little Prince” in Vegas hotel rooms, he’s a British helicopter pilot, and is currently serving a four-month tour Afghanistan. (That’s actually why he was, uh, cutting loose in Sin City a few weeks ago.)
‘We are using all our strength to get rid of him, either by killing or kidnapping,’ Taliban spokesman Zabihullah Mujahid told Reuters by telephone from an undisclosed location.
‘We have informed our commanders in Helmand to do whatever they can to eliminate him,’ Mujahid added, declining to go into detail on what he dubbed the ‘Harry operations’.
Of course, the threats should absolutely be taken seriously, even if you don’t quite understand the motivation behind the Taliban letting an international news wire organization like Reuters in on their dastardly plans. I’m guessing the Taliban doesn’t watch too many Bond movies. Every supervillain knows you don’t tell anyone what you’re masterminding.