Unless you stuck to your normal Sunday night “stories” as my grandma would say, you were watching the Emmys last night in all their sweaty glory. I personally tuned in with about an hour left of the red carpet shenanigans and—dear baby Jesus—there were some interesting attire choices made. The evening could really be summed up with “I spy so-and-so’s boobs/butt/pregnant belly” or “MY EYES! TURN DOWN THE BRIGHTNESS ON THE TV!”
I’ll begin with the obvious. Boobs. And there were plenty.
Christina Hendricks. I know there’s not much she can do about her…ehm…ladies, but there they were.
Put a tent on that circus!
Regardless of her cleavage situation, I love her. This is all forgivable. I mean, Mad Men. Right?
Other notable ta-tas on display were those of Amy Poehler, Zooey Deschanel, and fresh-on-the-market Heidi Klum.
On to the booty.
There was a clear winner in this category. Sofia Vergara. You’d assume her wardrobe malfunction may have been in the front. Alas, no.
I’m not about to show you the linked image.
I’m not going to show you the linked photo from the tweet, but you can look at it yourself. Just make sure your boss isn’t standing behind you when you open that link. Or just make sure they’re a fan of Modern Family or Sofia Vergara’s mostly naked ass.
I mean, I know these dresses are completely form fitting, but did she not practice sitting in her dress? Isn’t that one of the rules? And how the eff did she fix it? AND WHY DID SHE TWEET A PHOTO OF HER THONGED ASS!? *cough* I need to go back to my happy place where I remember that celebrities are NOT JUST LIKE US, PEOPLE MAGAZINE.
Continuing on, we come to Claire Danes, who, bless her heart, showed up in all her knocked-up glory, apparently haven stolen all fabric from other celebs in order to cover up her belly and do some weird blousy thing at her waist.
Claire Danes shows off her Emmy. And also all the fabric in China.
Don’t get me wrong, she looks great and kudos to her for staying up late while pregnant. I was in bed at 7 pm every night. Also, I was not winning Emmys. I just wish she hadn’t added all that extra stuff around her waist. Also, YELLOW!!!
Which brings me to the final showcase. BRIGHT! COLORS!
Julie Bowen wearing “My retinas may have just burned out of my eyeballs.”
Bananaaaaaa! As worn by Julianne Moore.
There you have it, basically an in-your-face year of Emmy fashion. Did I leave anyone out? Any major fashion offenders or winners for you?
About Jenna Marie Bee
