There is apparently a huge crazy train that no one but the pop tartlets got tickets to ride.
The boxcars on this train are riddled with electric razors, hair dye, and regret. While Britney is the OG shock jock of the razor happy revolution, we’ve seen Miley Cyrus become prettier than Miley Cyrus, and just this week it appears Avril Lavigne has gone Skrillex and Lady Gaga has lost her ever-loving marbles as an ode to loss.
While it’s sort of rad that Gaga’s buzz is an expression of sympathy for the passing of her dear friend Terry Richardson’s mother, she did so in a way that serves more as an homage to male pattern baldness and less as, well, an expression of sympathy for the passing of her dear friend’s mother. The grief part I get, but the expression…not really at all. GAGA IS SO REVOLUTIONARY, WE CAN’T EVEN KEEP UP WITH HER EDGY FUCKEDUPEDNESS!
Gaga needs a hug for the hack job. Possibly even a nudge to take her cues from Kellie Pickler who is doing support and sympathy totally right.
Now we come to Avril. Oh, dear, sweet, teen-angsty Avril.
There is so much to be utterly skeeved about with this tartlet. ::shudders::
Aside from hanging onto that, “Ugh, authority? Pfft!” bullshit she just. won’t. give. up, it’s safe to assume that there was Kool-Aid involved in the dye job, the likes of which we normal folk would never touch with a ten-foot pole. Sure, most of that Kool-Aid ended up in her She-Skrillex fit of poor ‘do judgment. Lavigne’s transformation is cause for lots of head-shaking and leaves the rest of humanity all the way over here. We’ll be the ones gagging and gripping our ten-foot poles with mighty gumption because, say it with me kids, WHAT THE SHIT IS GOING ON?! Also? Chad. Fucking. Kroeger, guys.
It’s safe to assume that when you sign your first record deal, The Man hands you a shiny new Remington, you know, as part of “the deal”.