Anderson Cooper has made a living out of telling people things they did not know. But on Thursday, the popular CNN and daytime host decided to mix it up a bit by telling folks something they know all too well:
Star Jones is an idiot.
Shocking. Not that she’s an idiot, mind you. Again, everyone already knew that. Instead, that Anderson would waste precious seconds of his life discussing Star Jones. Lord knows that’s something I try desperately to avoid. BUT, because I’ve always kinda liked Anderson, I thought I’d pay homage to him by following suit and breaking the situation down for you.
As we all know, Anderson came out to the world this past July. He did so by penning an email to friend Andrew Sullivan, which was posted on The Daily Beast. His news, while no big surprise, was well received, because we’re all adults, it’s the year 2012, and we think Anderson’s just ducky the way he is — gay, straight, asexual, whatever. We’re good with it.
But what’s more, we all respect what a personal matter such a disclosure is and the guts it takes to come out in such a public manner, which is why we’re ever thankful whenever someone like Anderson does just that, if for no other reason than because it will make it that much easier for the next public figure to share such news.
So when a stand-up guy like Anderson officially tells us he’s gay, we validate him with an outpouring of support and quickly move on, our opinion of the good man largely unchanged.
Unless, of course, you’re an idiot, in which case you’d probably say something stupid. Which Star did. Only Star is one of those rare and privileged idiots who gets to make her stupid points on TV, which, while kind of a shame, also makes the rest of us feel a lot better about our own shortcomings. I mean, hell, at least you’re not an idiot like her, right?
Which is precisely why you didn’t go on Today and suggest that Anderson’s coming out was a ratings ploy: “He’s a daytime talk show host and when the rating slip in daytime, the hosts tend to tell you lots of things about them.. There [are] times when you generate information for ratings.”
This from the woman who discussed her wedding on national TV for more hours than she actually remained married. (Oh, the irony.)
But here’s the thing: an idiot should never, ever say stupid things about a clever person. Especially a patient clever person. Because you never know when that person will choose to pull the curtain on your idiocracy.
Turns out the answer in Star’s case is after about three months. Because yesterday, Anderson finally addressed the matter on Anderson Live. Co-host Andy Cohen pointed out that Anderson had been on hiatus at the time of his coming out, hence there were no ratings to be had, which meant that Star’s comments were, you know, idiotic. (He’s clever, too, that Andy Cohen.) This opened the door for Anderson just enough to slam it on Star’s ass, which he did when he made the following comment:
“That’s why it so annoyed me. If I was wanting to boost ratings I would have waited to announce it on a very special episode, that would have been promo’d for weeks and weeks and there would have been commercials, ‘Anderson’s huge announcement,’ and you would have a cut away of the audience, but instead I was in Africa on assignment for 60 Minutes….I wasn’t even on the air for days afterward.”
He goes on to take a pot shot on the Star’s bizarre “I’m getting married” phase and even snuck in a gastro bypass zinger in a manner which somehow didn’t seem catty, because Anderson’s sneaky like that. And, too, because he was in the right.
Oh, Star. Bless your silly little heart. Don’t worry, Love. You’ll be alright. Just think twice before you talk smack about Anderson. Or any other clever, patient person.