Perhaps you heard, this week, that Donald Trump had some VERY BIG NEWS to share with the world, and it was SUCH VERY BIG NEWS that it would, in fact, have VERY BIG IMPACT on the upcoming Presidential election. The Announcement was scheduled for Wednesday, and in the days leading up to that moment, news outlets began to speculate. Many thought Trump would reveal that Michelle Obama had once filed for divorce from Barack. Others didn’t really give a shit.
Then Wednesday came and world’s anticipation squeaked into a heap of disappointment like a faulty whoopee cushion.
THAT’s your announcement, Trump? Indeed.
But as disheartening as it is to know that this odd-headed man is the financial backbone of the Romney campaign, we can find strength during this time by watching Hollywood roast this motherfucker for acting like the dingleberry he is. (I once gave Ashton Kutcher the title of America’s Dingleberry, but I think it may be time to pass that torch.)
Let’s start with the best. Steven Colbert offers Trump $1 million to let him dip his balls in the tycoon’s mouth.
Next, Barack Obama shocks and awes with a zinger on Jay Leno.
Barbara Walters, however, takes a more maternal approach on The View and scolds the Donald for acting A DAMN FOOL.
And let us never forget the power of Twitter in healing a cynical, pseudo-political heart.
Regardless of your political affiliation, I seriously hope we can all agree on the ridiculousness that is Donald Trump. (And if you don’t agree, maybe we can talk about a recent PR email I saw circulating asking bloggers to post pictures of his wife dressed up as a slutty Wonder Woman for Halloween. Ahem.)