Like, at all. People are saying all kinds of mean things about each other.
The civil suit was filed against Britney Spears‘s handlers, as well as her parents, Jamie and Lynne Spears, by a former confidant of the Grammy winner — a clown named Sam Lufti. Remember him? I didn’t either, until I saw the pictures. Apparently unhappy with his 15 minutes of infamy, Lufti has lawyered up.
Lemme see if I can get this all in a nutshell for you — emphasis on NUTS, of course. (Which leaves the letters h, e, l, and l, you realize. NUTS hell. Kinda what Britney went through, but I digress.)
Spears loses her shit during a bizarre couple of years while she’s hanging out with this Lufti character (who totally looks like what might happen if a Creed fan and a Nickelback fan were ever to breed). Spears’ misadventures during the era include, but are not limited to: shaving her head, rocking an unconvincing British accent, assaulting an SUV with an umbrella, getting 5150-ed (good times), and appearing on MTV like this.
You know she was pretty bad off because she actually lost custody of her children around this time.
To Kevin fucking Federline.
In 2008, Spears’ parents stepped in and regained control of the situation and got a restraining order against Lufti so he could no longer wreak havoc on the singer or her affairs. Then, Lynne Spears, ever the capitalist, wrote a (presumably horrible) book called Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World.
Part of it was dedicating to telling the world what a piece of shit Lufti is, essentially pinning Spears’ entire public meltdown on him. Oddly, Lynne didn’t try to blame Lufti for the whole K-Fed debacle, but that was probably just because Britney and Lufti hadn’t met by that point.
Still, she totally should have tried.
In February of 2009, Lufti sued Spears’ camp, claiming he was owed millions of dollars as Spears’ manager during the time and that Lynne Spears had lied about him in her book, providing shocking confirmation that, indeed, at least one person has read it.
Yesterday, Lufti’s attorney, Joseph Schleimer, told the jury that his client was trying to help the singer even as she spiraled out of control in front of the entire (and somewhat amused) world.
By the way, it cannot be stressed enough that the attorney’s name is Schleimer. This fills me with great joy for reasons I’m unable to fully articulate, though they could well stem from my hope that he’s part of a law firm called Schleimer and Scheister.
Among Lufti’s contentions:
Britney was hopped up on amphetamines the night the world saw her strapped to a stretcher.
Spears, paranoid, shaved her head to hide evidence of drug use, worried if she didn’t she might lose custody of her kids.
After becoming Spears’ manager, Lufti hired drug-sniffing dogs to canvass her place — dogs which turned up a baggy of crystal meth.
Let’s rewind here and remember one thing: this is the very man who says he’s owed millions of dollars for managing her career. Sounds to me like he was doing a pretty shitty job and probably isn’t owed that much, after all. You know, assuming his pay was incentive-based and not just a straight number, but whatever.
So, yeah, that’s kinda it. Now all that’s left is to see how this thing unwinds. One gets the sense, though, that while there may be a shred of truth to some of Lufti’s claims, not much will come out of them. I mean, on the one hand he’s claiming he’s owed millions in the capacity of her manager, yet on the other he’s claiming she wasn’t of sound mind to enter into any such agreement. Plus, and again, he obviously did a shitty job.
Still, it should be interesting to watch this whole Lufti-Spears thing go down. Not as interesting as watching their time together go down, but few things are, right?