CBS to Make ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ Into Terrible Sitcom


Smells Like Teen Spirit“, the 90′s grunge anthem that launched the band Nirvana into super-stardom and disaffected teens everywhere for the better part of a decade, is, naturally, being turned into a family friendly sitcom on CBS.  The show has been sold by one of the writer/producer’s from The Big Bang Theory, David Goetsch.  From the Hollywood Reporter:

“The multicamera comedy revolves around an 18-year-old budding entrepreneur who forgoes Harvard and instead opts to launch a multibillion-dollar Internet company from his garage with the assistance of his sister, best friend and his 1990s indie-rock parents.”

nivana kramer 590x318 CBS to Make Smells Like Teen Spirit Into Terrible Sitcom

If Michael Richards doesn’t play Krist Novoselic, I’LL JUST DIE.

Right about now is where I’d insert an inappropriate joke about the drastic action Kurt Cobain might take upon hearing this.  As one of MamaPop’s intrepid reporters, I tried to reach out to Courtney Love on the phone for comment, in order to get her reaction to CBS’ plans.  After letting her know about the show, Love went on the record with:

“You bitch!  Everyone think Kurt cause drugs and lady parts.  I’m gonna Larry Flynt. (Police sirens off in distance) (Flush) (Dial tone)”

courtney1 CBS to Make Smells Like Teen Spirit Into Terrible Sitcom

Whatever you do never, EVER ask her why her band used to be called “Hole”.

All kidding aside, I had no idea we were all on board for looking back on grunge with sitcom nostalgia.  Grunge was an era that I never thought would be attributed to wacky sitcom parent stereotypes.  Maybe this is what people who were teens in the 50′s felt like when Happy Days came out.  Honestly there’s only one show that has any business mining laughs out of people still living in the 90′s and that show is Portlandia.

 

Anyway, since all you need to do to sell a show to CBS is to take a familiar title, erase and and all reference to the song other than the title, and then slap a generic CBS sitcom plot chock full of broad stereotypes and sexual innuendos on it, I thought I’d preemptively pitch a couple of more shows based on grunge hits of the 90′s.  If any of these get picked up, I promise to fly you all in as part of a live studio audience.

Black Hole Sun
Plot: Astronaut Buzz Trevor has a problem: A sentient black hole named Skip has followed him home from his last mission and now he’s got to hide him in the attic from his family!  But will Buzz start treating this anomaly more like a Black Hole Son?
Starring: Tim Allen and the voice of some kid from the Disney channel
Catchphrase: I just want to wash away all the rain!

black hole sun CBS to Make Smells Like Teen Spirit Into Terrible Sitcom

Fueling my nightmares from 1994-1996.

Longview
Plot:  Slackers Angus and Porkrind just can’t get a job in the town of Longview.  But what happens when their new social worker is also an ex-Army drill instructor?  Uh-oh!  I know all sorts of things are going to start losing their fun!
Starring: Sean William Scott, Breckin Meyer, and R. Lee Ermey.
Catchphrase: Id’ like to say how lazy you are, but we’re in mixed company!

0 CBS to Make Smells Like Teen Spirit Into Terrible Sitcom

He trashed his room after he found out he was being bumped by Justin Bieber.

Man in the Box
Plot: The Amazing Archibald used to be the world’s greatest magician until he got stuck in his greatest illusion, the Pharaoh’s Box.  Now he’s a stay at home Dad while his wife goes back to work as a successful lawyer.  Can you be a good Dad and Husband while you’re trapped in a box?!
Starring: Ed O’Neil and Kirstie Alley
Catchphrase: That’s not the only box he’s got problems with….

D3CE68C245C966C441BE8A8829AD098C 590x427 CBS to Make Smells Like Teen Spirit Into Terrible Sitcom

The 90′s. Encouraging facial grooming like this since…well…1990….

Plush
Plot:  No one is crazy about their neighbors, but what happens when your average suburban family finds themselves in a neighborhood full of Furries?  WACKINESS!!!  THAT’S WHAT!!!
Starring: Patrick Dempsey as Tobias the Tit Mouse.
Catchphrase:  One of these days, Carla the Unicorn!  Bang, zoom!

01 CBS to Make Smells Like Teen Spirit Into Terrible Sitcom

I NEED AN ADULT! I NEED AN ADULT!!!!

Jeremy
Plot: Jeremy Van Crump is nothing but trouble.  He’s always getting in trouble in school and hes got bully troubles left and right!  But what happens, after one schoolroom fight, when a sassy judge literally attaches Jeremy to one of his bullies at the hip for an entire school year?
Starring: Nolan Gould
Catchphrase:  Well, he seemed a harmless little f%$&.!

mgid uma video mtv CBS to Make Smells Like Teen Spirit Into Terrible Sitcom

Remember, Eddie Vedder is always watching you.

Well what do you think?  Bad sitcom idea or worst sitcom idea?  Know of any Grunge hits that would make for a CBS sitcom?  Leave them in our comments box below!

source, source, source, source, source, source, source

About Joe Lyons

Joe Lyons, aka SweetMonkeyCreek, likes to write funny things from his compound in Pittsburgh, PA. When he's not writing stories, plays, or founding secret societies, Joe works tirelessly on his weather machine, which he promises is not for world domination...even though there is an alarming amount of evidence indicating that it is.



From Our Partners

  • HeatherMSM47

    I would totally watch Plush. The Black Hole Sun lady scared the shit out of me too!

  • http://www.facebook.com/traceygaughranperez Tracey Gaughran-Perez

    I kind of hate TV execs right now.

    • http://www.actclassy.com/ SweetMonkeyCreek

      They always give us a reason to hate them, don’t they?

      • DianaCLT

        Another reason: WHERE THE FRACK IS COMMUNITYYYYYY?!!?!?!??

        • http://www.actclassy.com/ SweetMonkeyCreek

          I KNOW!!! Well, the good news is that it’s been postponed from airing on Friday nights (which is a death sentence). If they wait and give it a proper Thursday night slot, this delay may actually be the best thing for Community…

  • SuzyQuzey

    This just makes me long for new Portlandia episodes.

  • Julie S

    I see Black Hole Sun a FX series… Something in the vein of Sons of Anarchy, but it would be set on oil fields of North Dakota. Lots of money, nothing to do but work and living in “man camps” while their family is living in another state. I’m surprised TLC isn’t already filming the “documentary.”

    (A part of me just died.)

    • http://www.actclassy.com/ SweetMonkeyCreek

      I’m pretty sure some network execs are calling you right now…

  • Snarky_Amber

    I am going to pitch a show called “Janie’s Got a Gun” where a girl named Janie goes to CBS and shoots everyone in the face.

    • http://www.actclassy.com/ SweetMonkeyCreek

      I’ll sign on as a producer.