Chairs Are Like Facebook And So Are Other Random Objects

10/05/2012 2:00 pm by

If you were snug as a bug in a rug under your social media rock yesterday, you’ll have missed two very important pieces of internet culture news: Facebook passed the 1 billion monthly active users milestone (you know, the one that everyone reaches) and they launched their first ever ad campaign for the social network.

Uh, yep. You read that right. The largest time suck website of the 21st century eclipsed the general standard of active website traffic and subsequently released an ad in an effort to generate more traffic to their website. Or not. I cannot be considered an authority on why in the world Zuckerface would have decided that a commercial was The Next Big Step for his alien love baby, but I can dissect the shit out of it because IT IS MOTHERFUCKING RIDICULOUS!

Chairs. Bridges. Airplanes. Doorbells. Basketball. Dance Floors. Great Nations. Toothpicks. Epilators. Banana Peels. Oh I’m sorry. It’s easy to get carried away relating every day things with what Facebook is to people who have no idea what the hell Facebook is. It’s totally likely they were trying to do the Google-feel-good approach to the ad, but it’s just so fucking weird.

I can picture a sweet, out-of-touch soul watching his nightly Wheel of Fortune marathon when this bad boy comes on the boob tube. The realm of emotion that dude is going to process in a minute and a half is fascinating. He’ll be like, “Am I supposed to be sitting on top of Facebook? Using it as a stool to hang tall draperies? Is it a doorbell on the wing of an airplane in the middle of the dance floor at a basketball game being played in the vacuous loneliness of the deep, dark universe? Ooh, a lightning bug!”

relevant mark zuckerberg 590x333 Chairs Are Like Facebook And So Are Other Random Objects

I totally get interneting.

The onslaught of spoof ads is coming, folks. I can feel it in the depths of my crotch.

What do you think of this gem from the Facebook camp? What vague and erroneous inanimate objects would you have chosen if you were on the creative board for the ad?

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About Jess

Jessi Sanfilippo is a former member of the radio industry turned vessel of The Human Being. Living and barely breathing in the doldrums of Satan's Armpit, or "Arizona" for the layman, she rids the world of mundane drivel with nonsensical obscurities on her site, shuggilippo.

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  • http://www.avitable.com/ Avitable

    Yeah, I really want to make a spoof ad of this. But it feels like a spoof already! It reminds me of the Veridian Dynamics ads from “Better off Ted”, which, if you haven’t seen, you should.

  • Nicole is Badass

    You win the internet.

    • http://twitter.com/shuggilippo Jessi Sanfilippo

      You win my heart.

  • frogprof

    Relevant Mark Zuckerberg should be sparkly.

    • http://twitter.com/shuggilippo Jessi Sanfilippo

      And inexplicably lose his shirt.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Amy-Corlett/1097844595 Amy Corlett

    In fairness, I watched the Chris Brown video post first. So this looks like pure genius in comparison.

    • http://twitter.com/shuggilippo Jessi Sanfilippo

      Agreed. In comparison, this thing is like a Scorsese flick.

  • Tyskkvinna

    I like it, because I think it is not taking itself too seriously while simultaneously not letting anybody know it.

    • http://twitter.com/shuggilippo Jessi Sanfilippo

      Maybe you have to be a ninja to work for Facebook (which answers my repeat curiosity as to why they never hire me)

  • Kelly

    I would much rather be in a tree or on a dance floor or with someone in a chair than on facebook, but this ad could sort of make me feel like it’s the same thing.

  • Tmanhollan

    That made my brain feel weird, which is what happens when I’m on Facebook for too long.