Good news, science! Kate Gosselin is just one of those super lucky people who is getting younger and more naturally beautiful every day instead of following the typical timeline of descent into a stuttering pile of average grey mush. During an appearance on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live she was gently grilled like a chicken sandwich when comparing a photo of herself then vs now to which she coyly responded, “I am probably one of the rare few who de-age,” because sure, that’s obviously what happened here.
Robot bootstrap mesa horseback riding flip flop cat hair tumbleweed– Oh, what? I thought we were just saying crazy stuff that didn’t make any sense now. Isn’t that what we’re doing?
Gosselin made no secret of going under the knife for a tummy tuck in 2007 and again in 2009 for breast augmentation. Hey, honestly most moms won’t hold that against her. Having her body stretched to the absolute limit by 8 (eight!!) little money-making television stars is as good a reason as any to get a well-deserved lift and de-pouching. It’s something a lot of women have considered to return to some semblance of their former selves, price tag notwithstanding.
But of course that wasn’t the end of her post-divorce Hollywood-inspired transformation, which has also clearly included dental work, tanning, hair extensions, personal training, Botox injections, and plenty of unconfirmed rumors about more plastic surgery. I’m sure that was just part of her “de-aging” spa package right after the dip in the alien pod pool and her pow-wow with Benjamin Button in the steam room at 2pm.
Look, I don’t give two preciously squeezed drops of coffee what Kate Gosselin, a grown ass 37-year-old woman, wants to do with her own appearance but I do have eyes and I’m slightly smarter than my own couch. She’s not exactly been the queen of subtlety here. After being open about having work done in the past and candidly preferring her post-kids appearance, why suddenly play the “oh, I’m just lucky hehe!” game? Is there a purpose to this? If she wants to make herself “prettier” (highly subjective quotations) by all means she should go for it, but let’s cut the giggly pretext about “de-aging.” Money can’t buy happiness but it sure can wipe away those crow’s feet.
Oh, and speaking of money, Kate Gosselin was fired yesterday from her gig as a blogger at CouponCabin for “authenticity issues.” Frowny face for the Botox fund.