People are telling Melanie Griffith that she does not look good. To her face. In person. On the internet. She told Us Weekly that people have taken to Twitter to tell her that she looks horrible.
I realize that public scrutiny comes with all of the $$$$$$$, and maybe I’d be willing to put up with people telling me that I look horrible on a daily basis if I was getting paid. But if a stranger came up to me at the grocery store and was all, “Ew, girl. You look gross,” I’d probably be in the fetal position in aisle six, slamming York Peppermint Patties and instructing the cashier to just add them to my tab.
Can’t a celebrity attend a fundraiser and have a nice day trip at the beach without someone scrutinizing how she looks? LOLOLOLOL hi, Internet! JK!
Does Melanie Griffith have the rock hard body of a Disney movie star ready to transition into her first nudie photo scandal? Well, no. But she’s 55 and she’s at the beach, and daaaang, son, why can’t she frolic without strangers getting all Regina George on her?
55 years old. This means she’s old enough to be my mom, she was in junior high when Apollo 11 landed on the moon, and old enough to run for President when Gordon Bombay taught his hockey team the Flying V in the first Mighty Ducks movie.
So I mean, come on, Internet. Think about your best friend from elementary school. Now think about her mom. You know, the one that handed you a chilled Yoohoo when you came over and did that whole carpool drop-off thing even though she probably just wanted to smoke cigarettes on her couch and watch General Hospital.
You may not have liked the way she dressed (same applies here, MG, but you work that bikini all day long, homey), but would you have said “Whoa, Mrs. Hutchinson. You are not aging well. Like, at all. Woof.”?
Noooo wayyyyyyyyy. Because not only is it, like, so mean, adults weren’t scared of kids back then, and you and I would have probably gotten slapped around a little bit.
Get it together, Twitter. ::slap!::