Bleh.
Bleeeargh.
And BAH.
What is there to even say about this episode of Project Runway? It was such a tragic non-event that it was barely worth talking about the next day, much less NOW, all these days later.
Who knows WHAT Tim Gunn was rambling about when he promised us a horrifically trainwrecky menswear challenge this season (are they already filming season 11, or something? Was he drunk? confused? just straight-up messing with us?), because it sure as shit didn’t happen last Thursday. Nothing happened last Thursday! Nothing!
The final! shocking! twist! was that there WAS no twist. The four finalists are now officially the four final-finalists 4 REAL THIS TIMEZ.
*cheap glass clink*
*halfhearted yaaaaaaayyyy*
So hey! Since NOTHING HAPPENED last week, maybe we should all just talk about how excited we are to see the rest of the final collections instead!
Because:
“I was really inspired by the colors black and white. Also short-shorts and exposed midriffs in black and white black black white omg I’m hanging on by a thread here guys black white black.”
I thought Darkest Timeline Britta’s collection looked really great…when it was all hanging on the rack together, that is. Once she started pulling out individual pieces and putting them on models it all became SIGNIFICANTLY less interesting. Basic separates that she’s put One Weird Thing on (like those jacket cuffs, a heavy cowl on a split-down-the-center tank top, etc.) to give them the ILLUSION of being more runway-worthy than they actually are.
“I was also inspired by the colors black and white, but I put mesh over the exposed midriffs. For the first time ever my dress is too big for my model and my previously meticulous beading embellishments now resemble a Haus of Gaga collection for H&M, maybe. I also skinned Buckbeak the Hippogriff for those jacket arms.”
Dmitry’s collection disappointed me the most, so I guess props for making me feel something vaguely close to an actual emotion? He made some really awesome, well-made stuff this season, but seriously: I have a more vivid memory of the dress he made out of candy than any of the looks he sent down the runway here. Obviously it didn’t help that they didn’t really have time to alter anything to fit the models and had to assemble looks on the fly,* but meh. MEH I SAY.
*SPEAKING OF WHICH, why didn’t they get time to alter anything to fit the damn models? Come on, show. Come the fuck on.
“You guys are so starved for color that these watery pastels are totally reading like some kind of bold edgy statement, amirite? Also exposed midriffs, wack-ass wigs and accessories made out of perler beads.”
I like Fabio. He seems genuinely sweet and low-key and he’s got a crazy personal style that really works for him. I just really don’t know what to make of his designs. I feel like they’re more appealing to me than they should be simply because they are different and odd…but only kinda. Take away the wigs and the shoes and he’s got some badly-made pants, a basic pencil skirt and a crooked pink muumuu-slash-pool-cover-up.
“HEY LOOK OVER HERE CAMERAS THIS IS MY MOM’S X-RAY BECAUSE MY LIFE IS FULL OF TRAGEDY BUT I RISE FROM THE ASHES AND FIND BEAUTY IN THE WORLD OH GOD PLEASE GIVE ME THE WIN PLEASE PLEASE.”
“P.S. SHORT SHORTS AND EXPOSED MIDRIFFS.”
Some of Christopher’s stuff actually is pretty interesting. The leather treatment was cool. I think he at least has an actual gown in his collection. But the stuff he showed here reads as straight-up Banana Republic.
When did all the final collections go so universally RTW sportswear and separates? And why do the final designers only get five weeks to create 10 looks? Basically, who is scheduling the shooting times of this show these days, what is their phone number and what’s the best time for me to call and yell at them? Kthx.
I am so over this season. I am perhaps more over this season than I have EVER been over a season. I honestly don’t care who wins. Or who loses. There’s no Gretchen vs. Mondo, Laura vs. Jeffrey. There’s no Santino or Irina to root against. There’s not one truly talented designer who simply HAS to win it, they simply HAVE to (Jay, Christian, Leanne, Mondo, etc.). There’s just…these guys and some stuff they whipped together in a couple days.
Okay. Fine. Whatever.
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About Amy Corbett Storch
