In Toms River, NJ, the house that was used for exterior shots in the 1979 movie The Amityville Horror is up for sale. Sound like a familiar story? That’s because the owners, Odalys and Jose Fragoso, have been trying to sell the infamous house since 2010. The couple is in the midst of a divorce after 33 years of marriage and had originally asked $1.45 million, then dropped to $1.35 million before taking the house off the market last October. Now it’s up for grabs again at the bargain price of $955,000. It’s possible that the 92-year-old house has some actual issues that are making buyers wary, but I have to imagine that the notoriety of the film and the actual events it was based on are keeping people away. Of course, this house wasn’t the actual house in the story, but people are kind of dumb, so who knows.
Aside from the fact that I don’t wish to live in New Jersey and, uh, couldn’t dream of affording that house, I’ve always really liked it and wouldn’t mind inhabiting it, demonic energy be damned. But there are houses that some of my favorite fictional characters have resided in that I might buy first in my fantasy life.
American Horror Story
The house from American Horror Story was for sale as recently as last December. That house is gorgeous and house tons of beautiful character details, which I’m such a sucker for. Plus it has that basement abortion clinic and the maid and the attractive, but moody, young man who will come and impregnate me while wearing a gimp outfit. Those amenities are tough to come by.
The Family Stone
I watched this movie while recovering from food poisoning a few years ago and so my memories of it are basically, “SJP’s bun, strata, gorgeous, gorgeous house.” The house from this movie is in Connecticut, and the decor is a littletooprecious for my tastes, but it’s big and old and such a great home-for-the-holidays house. I would love hosting big Thanksgiving dinners here where everyone drinks way too much wine and ends up crying into their yams.
The house from Home Alone was also recently for sale, and was purchased back in March for $1.585 million. John Hughes seemed to have a knack for finding gorgeous houses for his movies. Another house that I love from his oeuvre is the house from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. But back to this manse. After the initial shock of being abandoned by his family, I totally relate to Kevin’s ecstatic rampage because, dude, that house is sweet as hell. I would love to have it to myself without my assy family around to call me shit like “les incompetents” and “such a disease” and “little jerk.” But after they go to Paris to cool off and realize how much they miss me, I’d gladly welcome them back home to a feast of milk, eggs, and microwave macaroni and cheese.
The Thomas Crown Affair
The 1999 version of The Thomas Crown Affair stars Pierce Brosnan and Rene Russo. I remember seeing it and really realizing, “You know, being rich seems completely awesome.” I mean, I’d always assumed as much, but seeing the possibilities of doing whatever the hell you wanted, particularly if what you wanted to do was always badass, made me understand the whole appeal of wealth much better. At one point, Thomas Crown whisks Catherine Banning off to his private Caribbean island house. It’s small compared to his New York City mansion, but look at it.
If you had all the money you needed and the love of your life, wouldn’t you just chill here forever and ever?
So what are some of your fantasy homes from TV or the movies?