OMG with the mom jeans, again! Alright, look, I’ll admit to owning a pair of Lee Riders that taper at the ankles and are high enough to hide my pooching muffin top the week before my period….
Oh…wait. That’s “genes” with a G, not a J. Let me try this again.
OMG with the new study on mice that pinpoints which mice sign up their kids for soccer and piano lessons, and which mice eat their progeny while their bones are still soft – something, BTW, that all good parents threaten at least once during their children’s teenage years.
Ana Ribero at Rockefeller University in New York authored the study on mice and says:
“Once the (“mom”) gene was silenced, not only did the moms not nurse or lick their baby pups, but they wouldn’t even move the baby mice back into the cage or fight off a strange intruder. In other words, our study shows that, without this gene, the skills to be ‘a good mom’ were lost.”
Listen, I wasn’t the best parent of newborns, either, let me tell you. Babies are loud and demanding and poop a lot and can’t work a coffee maker. Thank goodness for alloparents (all those grandparents and aunties and that other parent…Whosit? OH RIGHT, THE BABY DADDY) who were around to help out when I wasn’t channeling Michelle Duggar. I wasn’t a cold mother. I bonded and stuff. But I really hit my stride when the kids were out of the incessant “your house is my toilet” stage.

If you don’t have The Mom Gene, there’s still time to return your kids for a full refund with receipt, or store credit without.
And when I was a wee tot myself, I never felt the urge to dress baby dolls or pretend to breastfeed our cat. I think I turned out to be a pretty good mom (although, don’t ask my kids this week. One is grounded from her iPod, and the other has been threatened with “monastic accommodations” if she doesn’t clean her room). These days I still don’t nurse or lick my older kids, nor do I whoosh them back into their cage, but after children are about 8 years old we call that behavior “Free Range Parenting.” So, you know, all good.
Okay, yeah I get it—a lot of women don’t want to be mothers. And unfortunately for them, lots of other people still think that a woman without the urge to devote part of her life to someone else’s emotional, social, psychological, intellectual upbringing is somehow a Bad Woman.
Well, that’s bull-oney.

HEY HUMANS! I HAS MOM GEEN AND CAN BABYSITS UR KIDS FER YOU! HANTAVIRUS GOOD WAY TA BULDS UP IMMUNE SYSTUMS!
Raising kids is a tough job for sure, but it shouldn’t be some criteria or credential to measure ourselves against each other, especially when we start the whole Real Woman/Less-Than Woman/Bad Mom/Good Mom junk. Enough already.
Now about that “Good Dad Gene?” I don’t think men should wear pleated pants with their stomachs hanging over their belts. Oh…wait.
















