You may find yourself pacing around the kitchen wondering aloud, “Crap, my Uncle/neighbor/Grandma/dog has suddenly come down with fluvovirus! What am I going to do with this 48-pound turkey?”
What are you going to do?!? Who can you call last minute to fill a spot at your perfectly set table? What reputation can you trust to help make with the mouth work? Though you may have seen each of these stars eating meat, on screen, with your very own trusty eyeballs you’d better skip their names on the phone tree because they all share one terrible (?) secret– You’ve been fooled, they don’t really eat meat. Here are some surprising and not-so-surprising vegetarian celebrities.
Despite his character’s all-consuming obsession with Twinkies in Zombieland (snack-size RIP pending) in actual-people life Woody Harrelson won’t be touching any egg-laden beefy-treats with a 10-foot zombie-stabbing pole. Harrelson is vegan and Zombieland filmmakers provided him with faux snacky-treats made of corn meal for all his Twinkie-makeout needs. (No additional murder required.)
As the lovelorn and more importantly nearly shirtless mermaid in Splash, vegetarian Daryl Hannah was required to stuff her face with an entire lobster because “she’s” a “fish” or something and that makes sense I guess? Though the meat on set was replaced with a vegetarian friendly substitute the outer lobster shells were the freshly skinned real deal. Director Ron Howard said Hannah wept after every take for each needless, beady-eyed death.
Babe was never in any danger of being sliced and diced (or sold) as Farmer Hoggett’s breakfast. A long time vegetarian, James Cromwell was convinced to go fully vegan after working day in and day out with the over 1,000 animal-actors on the set of Babe, which included over 48 baby pigs as the singular ‘Babe.’ Cromwell is such a devoted animal rights activist that he has been arrested for protesting with PETA. At a Wendy’s.
Fried chicken DOES make you feel better about life. The Help’s script called for Jessica Chastain to batter up some bird legs and indulge her makeup-laden mouth with Southern goodness. That fried chicken looked like sex on a leg bone but all the while no one was the wiser that producers had swapped the real meat for tofurkey to ensure Chastain’s vegan heart would remain unbroken.
Joaquin Phoenix not only doesn’t eat meat he also requires that all his costumes be vegan-friendly. This means anything leather you’ve seen him in is actually pleather and anything made of fox heads is probably not. His wardrobe department requests have included everything from Johnny Cash’s (p)leather gear in Walk the Line to the elaborate “leather” armor and faux fur trimmings in Gladiator.
Don’t worry though, you can always count on Liam Neeson to come over and scarf down your leftovers. Much to PETA’s pissedness he unabashedly chowed down on some wolf stew to prepare for his role in The Grey and even returned for seconds like it was no big thang. “I’m Irish, so I’m used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I’ll call it dinner.”
Neeson, you’re on deck. Dinner’s at four.
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About Jamie Jamerson
