You know, there are some days where my heart becomes literally filled with joy. The day you marry your spouse. The day your children are born. The day you find out that you’ve had $20 in your jeans pocket ALL ALONG. Well, today, friends, is one of those days. You see, AXE COP IS COMING TO TELEVISION!
I’LL CHOP YOUR HEAD OFF!
That’s right! The cult-favorite web comic is coming to Fox’s upcoming late-night animation programming block Animation Domination HD (ADHD…get it?!). I’ll explain why this is all so exciting in a moment, but first, let’s take a look at our first taste:
First of all, yes, that is Ron Motherf*#$&%g Swanson himself, Nick Offerman, providing the voice of the titular axe-wielding cop. This is, naturally, the most perfect choice in the history of the casting universe.
He’ll take all of the bacon and eggs you have. Please and thank you.
But beyond ideal casting choices, the main reason I’m glad that this is happening because it will bring Axe Cop to a much bigger audience. For those not in the know, Axe Cop is the creation of Malachai Nicolle, a 5-year-old. Malachai, who is now 8, created the character when he was playing with a toy axe during a visit with his older brother, 29-year-old illustrator Ethan Nicolle (who should be awarded the “Best Big Brother of the Century” award). Ethan, after noticing the vivid (and at times insane) stories Ethan created with his imagination, started drawing the adventures Malachai was concocting as Axe Cop. Hence, Axe Cop was born and has been ruling the Internet for the past three years. Go to AxeCop.com and read a couple of episodes and a couple of “Ask Axe Cop” strips. I’ll wait. I promise you I have just given you the thing you will spend the rest of your work day doing. Here is where I’d usually post the very first issue of Axe Cop, but the images are HUMONGOUS. If only someone on You Tube would make a live action version of the first issue to show you so I could ohwaitsomeonecompletelyalreadydid!
If you’re like me, there’s a very visceral feeling of delight that comes over you when you read something like Axe Cop. This is imagination in its pure, raw, and unadulterated form. This is the kind of manic creativity that can only come from a mind that has yet to be jaded by the outside world. There isn’t an ounce of snark or irony within any of the Axe Cop comics. This is just 5-year-old playtime distilled and digitized for all of us to enjoy. Reading Axe Cop takes me back to days where floors were made almost exclusively out of lava, any given kitchen utensil was the exact gadget you needed at that exact moment, and the bad guys could never, ever win the day. There’s also a great deal of inspiration to be found when looking at life through the eyes of a child. Things like how awesome it would be if you could just marry your best friend, the nature of the inherent evil found in sharks, and how you should do your job.
You are not doing your job hard enough.
Also, Abraham Lincoln shows up a couple of times.
It would be really convenient if someone would just put bombs in every bad guy.
So what do you think? Are you excited that Axe Cop is coming to TV? Or do you hate things that are awesome? Don’t you wish someone would have drawn out all of your insane ramblings as a child? I know I do. Have a favorite Axe Cop moment? Leave it in our comments section below!
Change we can believe in.
About Joe Lyons
