Two weeks ago we took my two-year-old daughter to a movie theater for the first time. We saw Wreck It Ralph (which, for what it’s worth, was incredibly clever and entertaining for those of us who came of age in the ColecoVision-Nintendo-Sega age). It. Was. A. Very. Big. Deal. See, I love going to the movies. I could go–and have gone–two and three times in a weekend. Even now, faced with a wee person in the mix, my husband and I divide and conquer, seeking flicks alone so we can get to the theater regularly. I would’ve given birth to the kid in a Regal Cinema if I could’ve.
But the floors are sticky enough.
But even as we had a great inaugural kidlet moviegoing experience, as we trudged out of the theater, I felt an impending sense of dread. (I mean, I felt it after I stopped to marvel, “Someone in this dark corridor came into the world via another dark corridor…MINE.”) My dread originated in the pit of my stomach, where you just *know* things. And I just *know* that, before too long, my kid will be dragging me to the theater to see a lot of craptastic movies.
Where will I find solace, watching White Princess Adventure Time 4: This Time It’s Personal…And Sparkly? Where is the pleasure in taking your kid to see a worldwide simulcast of Justin Bieber renting a car for the first time, or whatever the kids will be digging in 2019?
Just Googled “How old is Justin Bieber?” Am on so many watchlists now.
Then it hit me: the music. Kids movies always boast a catchy tune or two. Maybe [in between sips of hard liquor smuggled in via a Nehi bottle I found in the parking lot] I can forget the kid flick and focus on the music. To get me in the mood, I’ve built myself a little playlist of the best pop songs to come out of kid movies in the last 30 years. You will notice that I have ignored Disney pap from Elton John and Phil Collins. Phil Collins, I know you’re having a tough time (can’t drum anymore, routinely skewered by music lovers the world over) but I just can’t abide “You’ll Be In My Heart.” I just can’t.
Me, Tarzan. You, Sell-Out.
And the best pop songs from Kids’ movies are…
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About Molly Martin
