Did you hear that Bon Jovi‘s daughter overdosed on heroin the other day and that they tried to arrest her for possession of weed and what little heroin was left on the spoon or something? But that then the law-abiding types decided to cut her a break because of some sort of Good Samaritan law that was enacted to reduce ODing deaths? What, so, like, kids don’t watch South Park anymore? Have we all forgotten that DRUGS ARE BAD, MKAY?
BLARGH. So that’s the news.
But now I need you to bear (bare?) with me while I work through my internal struggle for a moment. Because I see headlines like these about kids of famous people doing stupid shit–the same type of stupid shit that kids of non-famous, boring people do–and I FEEL CONFLICT, you guys.
On the one side:
The really pissed off, jealous, unfulfilled and pathetic side of me is angry that this beautiful young 19-year-old girl, Stephanie Bonjiovi, gets bored enough/sad enough/curious enough/WHATEVERTHEFUCK enough to overdose on heroin on a Wednesday night in her college dorm room. Because what right does she have, yanno? WHAT RIGHT? None. She has this privileged life. She wants for nothing. Has she heard about the things happening in Israel by chance? I want to shake some sense into her is what I want to do. And then I maybe want to shake some sense into her dad and her mom and her college roommate.
On the other side:
That’s all a bunch of bull, isn’t it?
Drugs aren’t about boredom or sadness or WHATEVERTHEFUCK, yanno? They’re about six thousand things, folded into a tiny box that NO ONE WILL OPEN and yet the pressure buildsandbuildsandbuilds and so you eat some pills or shoot something evil into your veins to just get a motherloving break. And so then I want to punch the Internet in the face for talking about it, and I want to punch myself in the face for being pissed in the first place and then I want to hug the spit out of that sweet, sweet child. And then I want to cry with her parents and give millions of dollars and hugs and kisses to the person that called for help.
MAN you guys.
I mean, right? Pass the wine. Let’s give some thanks. Livin’ on a prayer and all that.