Sigh.
::unbuttons pants::
Well, comrades, Thanksgiving is gone and Black Friday is upon us. That means there are gajillions of dollars to save (er, spend), countless disposable, earth-polluting gadgets to obtain, and HOURS OF PRECIOUS SLEEP TO LOSE. But it’s not just your crazy neighbor, cousin Marcy, or BFF Nancy that bum-rush the doors at the local mall at a ridiculous hour this morning. I’d wager, in fact, that the following celebs were probably out and about, scanning the circulars for bargains and steals at the crack of dawn, right along your Dear Aunt Sally. Don’t believe me?
Observe:
Robert Pattinson has become quite vocal about his love for a little site called Craigslist. Perhaps you’ve heard of it? Dude likes to buy his cars there, and has a particular affinity for bartering. He was on Ellen recently and explained his next move was to attempt to get a car for some of his arm hair. Or perhaps $5 for giving someone a wet-willy. Just TRY and tell me RPatz would turn down an Ed Hardy trucker hat for the shockingly low price of $9.99.
Aside from the fact that she’s out of a job and starting to look suspiciously like Jessica Lange, Teri Hatcher has always believed in the value of a dollar. For example, she once said in an interview that she drives her cars until they have at least 100,000 miles on them. And then, presumably, sells them to chumps like us who are then forced to drive them until they have roughly THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND. But whatever, maybe I’m projecting.
Tyra Banks credits her frugal living habits to her upbringing and often finds herself swiping hotel soaps, lotions, and shampoo. She also tends to frequent the type of restaurants you or I would consider a splurge, but in her circle of friends, is practically dumpster diving. I’d expect to see her in the makeup aisle hoarding the Maybelline.
When he’s not busy being a gigantic asshole, Jay Leno also prides himself on his frugality. The man claims to have never spent a dime of the money he has earned while hosting The Tonight Show. Instead, he lives off the funds collected as a comedian. So obviously you’ll see him at Macy’s buying himself some clearance suits later this afternoon.
Renee Zellweger is probably one of the original Couponers, you guys. She still clips from the Sunday paper on the regular, paying homage to her fiscally conservative Texas upbringing. I just wonder if maybe a Groupon for Botox would tempt her more than a half-price frock at Saks.
So, whatever. Do your thang, bargain shoppers! Just know that there’s certainly ONE person you sure as hell won’t catch out there: ME.
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About Kristine Cook
