Over the weekend, it was announced that teen-celebs Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez have gone their separate ways. (Cue the collective “awwwwww.”) The two have been dating on-and-off for roughly two years.
At this moment, tweens everywhere are crying “WHY?!” and are probably struggling to understand how THE GREATEST COUPLE EVAR could break up? (Didn’t anyone learn from Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake?!) Meanwhile, us adults are all “Yeah, DUH.” I mean, let’s be serious. All good things must come to an end; specifically attractive high-profile teenagers that are richer than our wildest imaginations, who are in relationships. WITH EACH OTHER.
Seeing as how this news broke on Friday, OF COURSE there are already rumors they’re getting back together. Only time (and a fafillion gossip mags) will tell.
Meanwhile in LA, Kat Von D and Joel Zimmerman, aka “Deadmau5“, aka “that dude who plays techno music while wearing a gigantic mouse head” have also broken up. Anyone who follows Kat Von D also says, “Yeah, DUH” to this one too. How many times are we going to be subjected to her falling madly in love with a miscellaneous, heavily tattooed sort-of-star (see Nikki Sixx, Jesse James) only to have them break up months later? She went from matching outfits with Mr. Mau on the Twitter:
To tweeting this a mere week later:
Let’s get these two crazy kids together and start a new reality show called “LA Ink: Leave It to Bieber” where Justin is the new shop manager at Kat’s High Voltage Tattoo. Hijinks will ensue when Kat realizes that Justin doesn’t know a thing about tattoos! And when Justin brings Kat on tour, turns out that she doesn’t know anything about his Beliebers! (If I could type out how a slide whistle sounds, I’d totally put that right here.) Don’t fret, because their budding relationship will bring them closer than ever. But will the shop survive? TUNE IN TO FIND OUT.
Who wouldn’t watch that? I’m pretty sure we’ve got a hit on our hands. TLC? NatGeo? I’m looking at you. Call me.
In all seriousness though…I can assume Justin and Selena aren’t over. They’re kids. I think I dated the same guy four different times in high school. Break-ups? They happen.
However, Kat? I kind of want to put on my Mama-hat with her, have a girls night that involves pajamas, warm tea, and The Notebook on DVD. Not only so that I can stare at Ryan Gosling, but so she can see what true love looks like (and I’m talking about my love for Ryan Gosling). And maybe to tell her that she needs to start dating people that aren’t so eager to get matching tattoos after a month of being together.