Remember how 2007 was just a really bad year for Britney Spears? She was in and out of rehab, and that whole head shaving thing? I wasn’t a huge fan of her when she was in her prime, but all I wanted was for her to get back to normal and put on a green outfit (I use the term “outfit” loosely) and sing “Toxic” with a freaking albino python draped around her shoulders.
I suddenly feel this way about Lindsay Lohan, who, by the way, is in trouble again. She rented a Porsche, slammed it into the back of an 18 wheeler, and then told the authorities that she wasn’t driving. But she was, Officer, SHE WAS. If they charge her – which is likely – then it violates her parole (from when she was caught stealing that necklace), and she could end up with “real” jail time. (Or whatever jail time actually means for celebrities.) Lindsay Lohan continues to dash all of my hopes that she’ll get her junk together.
She was SO cute and charming in The Parent Trap. I secretly love this movie, and would totally watch it with my three daughters without any hesitation. I want to pinch Lindsay’s cheeks with that cute little fake Brit accent and buy her cotton candy.
Mean Girls was obviously a little spicier than The Parent Trap, but she did a great job and people everywhere quote Mean Girls all the time.
“Four for you, Glen Coco! You go, Glen Coco! And none for Gretchen Wieners, BYE.”
Or maybe I just quote Mean Girls all the time. Uh, anyway… what my wee little heart is trying to express right now is that, as a mom (and not like a Dina-Lohan-mom), I have this weird desire to see her straighten up and live a happy, semi-normalish life free of methamphetamines and Playboy covers. That’s all.
Now get in, loser, we’re going shopping.