If you recall, the Hollywood equivalent of Moses parting the Red Sea (the reconciliation of Robsten) happened a few weeks ago thanks to my Twibbon campaign, and I’ve been basically floating through my life ever since. And as we get closer to the release date of the final Twilight installment, things are only. getting. better.
Take for example this first, of many, interview about Breaking Dawn, Part 2 featuring both Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson.
Let’s all fucking swoon for a moment, OKAY?!
Ugh, I’m sorry. That was an epic letdown, wasn’t it? Well, shit you guys. It’s not like ET is knocking down my door for a damn interviewer position. AS THEY SHOULD BE. Did ET’s Nancy O’Dell not prep for this highlight-of-her-career moment? How are the movies different?! The fuck kind of question is that?! How about I help you out, O’Dell. Next time you bag an interview such as this one–ONE THAT MEANS SO MUCH TO REALLY SMART, NON-LOSER-ISH PEOPLE LIKE ME–try some of the following queries:
1. Let’s talk about the sex in the movie. Is there sex in this one? No? Okay, then let’s talk about the sex in the last one. #headboardscene
(What? Hashtagging interviews is the next big thing. WATCH.)
2. R-Patz, are you worried that K-Stew will bone the director of this movie? Does the fact that Bill Condon look less like a hipster bring some form of relief?
3. K-Stew, how did you get R-Patz back? Please describe your first reconciliation kiss. In detail. With sound effects, if you could. Ahem.
4. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY TO ALL THOSE EVIL PEOPLE WHO THINK YOUR LOVE IS A SHAM?! AND DO YOU WANT ME TO PUNCH THEM FOR YOU?!
Anyway, that’s just off the top of my head. Let me know what you’d ask the dynamic duo in the comments!