Previously on The Walking Dead, Michonne joins Team Prison.
We begin this episode with Glen and Merle in an interrogation room. Merle is sporting his “knife-hand”, so we know he means business. He’s asking AGAIN about his brother and where everyone’s been hiding out, and starts ripping on T-Dog. NOBODY RIPS ON T-DOG, DOG. Glen answers with a head-butt to Merle’s already broken face. In return, Merle beats the bloody hell out of Glen, while Maggie listens in the next room.
At the prison, Rick is wondering whether or not to let Michonne in. Meanwhile the walkers are starting to smell her blood (from the gunshot) and seem to crave some katana. She tries to take them all on, but is super weak and starts to black out. Before Rick can even question again if they should save her, Carl starts taking out walkers with his gun. Uh…go Carl? (It feels weird saying that.) Rick grabs Michonne and carries her in. When inside the prison, Michonne keeps up with the tough guy act, struggling and letting everyone know that she “didn’t ask for your help.” Rick doesn’t give a shit though. They lock her in the cell block and Daryl brings the group to see that Carol is still alive. Rick and Carol embrace, Carol sees Baby Sister and suddenly realizes that Lori didn’t make it and THE TEARS. THE TEARS THAT WON’T STOP. I mean, FOR THEM…not me. I just…have a cold. Or something. After this reunion, the gang goes back to Michonne, who lets them know that she saw Glen and Maggie being taken by the same man that shot her. She tells them about Woodbury and the Gov, who she compares to Jim Jones (TOTALLY) and that she thinks that’s where Glen and Maggie are.
Back in the interrogation room, Glen looks like shit and Merle is still going. Glen tells Merle that the rest of the group will be coming for him. Merle says he’ll bake them a cake. Merle! These one-liners! YOU’RE HILARIOUS. ALSO I HATE YOU. Glen decides to start rattling off the names of the people in the group that are going to come for him, and ends with Andrea. WHOOPS. Merle knows Glen’s fibbing. Dammit Glen!
Later, Hershel sews up Michonne’s wound, and she, Daryl, Rick and Oscar gather some shit to try and rescue Glen and Maggie from Crazytown. Daryl promises to Carl he’ll keep an eye on Rick. Rick pulls Carl aside and apologizes for Carl having to be the one to put a bullet in Lori. Uh, a little late, but thanks? Rick also gives Carl orders to keep everyone else safe if shit hits the fan while he’s away. Carl informs his dad that while Daryl has been referring to Baby Sister as “Asskicker” for like, DAYS…maybe she should have a real name? So…of course, LET CARL CHOOSE IT. He says some schpeel about his 3rd grade teacher and let’s name the baby after her. Henceforth, Baby Sister is now Judith.
In Woodbury, Milton lets the Gov know that “Mr. Coleman is ready.” Andrea has plans for the day, but the Gov decides he needs her in the lab with Mr. Coleman. He takes her to a building where an old man (Mr. Coleman) is lying in a hospital bed with Milton by his side, and leaves her there. Turns out, Mr. Coleman volunteered himself for an experiment to see if the unconscious, or walker, mind retains memories. Andrea assures Milton that walkers are monsters. Milton admits he’s never seen someone turn. A VIRGIN! This should be interesting. (Also? The Gov TOTALLY has to be doing this for the sake of his daughter, AMIRITE?) Mr. Coleman kicks it and turns, and when Milton’s test begins it pretty much shows THE TEST IS A GIGANTIC FAIL. However, Milton is a newb and thinks the geezer is actually responding and decides to release him to see for real, and of course the walker is all IMMA EAT YOU SUCKA. Thankfully, Andrea kills it before it can.
Merle’s apparently had enough of Glen’s silent treatment, so he leads a walker into the room and lets it have some alone time with Glen. Except Glen is a TOTAL EFFING BAD-ASS and manages to kill the walker while he’s bound to a chair. Meanwhile, the Gov tells Merle he’ll try to talk to Maggie since Merle is failing miserably with his zombie plan. The Gov decides to go for the “threat of rape approach” and makes Maggie take off her shirt and bra and then SMELLS HER HAIR. Ugh, he is SUCH A SLEAZE. Maggie holds her ground, and the Gov backs off.
Rick, Daryl, Oscar, and Michonne drive as close to Woodbury as is safe, and make the rest of the trek on foot. They become surrounded by walkers, and take refuge in a boathouse that also becomes surrounded. They find a paranoid hermit hiding under a blanket. This guy is hilarious. He starts yelling and threatening everyone with a gun and says he’s going to call the cops. The COPS! HA! Rick lets him know he IS the cops. Except, this guy is crazy, and Michonne decides he needs a katana through the heart. They shove him out the front door to appease the walkers and escape out the back. (FINALLY we see zombies straight up devouring a guy. I feel like that hasn’t happened since the second season. I FORGOT THERE WERE GUTS, PEOPLE.)
After being a super-badass, the door opens and Glen sees Merle, the Gov, and shirtless Maggie. The Gov points his gun at Glen, asking him where his group is, and Glen stays silent. Of course, Maggie says “prison” and the Gov gets his answer, along with how many are in their group. Maggie is sobbing and the Gov gets his creep on AGAIN and “consoles her” by being super inappropriate and then shoves her over to Glen, who I HOPE TO GOD gets ten minutes alone with him before this season is over. GLEN WILL KILL YOU. After the Gov and Merle leave the two to reunite, the Gov is PISSED that Daryl and nine others were able to clear the prison, which Merle said couldn’t be done. Merle reaffirms that his allegiance is with the Gov, who orders the prison scouted.
Michonne, Rick, Daryl, and Oscar stalk the wall outside Woodbury, where a night watch shift change seems to be happening. Andrea returns to the Governors quarters. He asks if Milton found what he was looking for. Andrea tells him no.
(Next week is the mid-season finale! Which means they’re taking a break for the holidays again? WTF. I can’t wait for Daryl and Merle to reunite. SHIT’S GONNA BE CRAY.)