Happy Boxing Day Day After Christmas Birthday, Jared Leto and Lars Ulrich December 26! For many of you (and yours truly) it is a day to hunker down and wait out an epic winter storm. And for many of you that is a serene, peaceful idea — gazing out a frosted windowpane onto the glowing breast of newfallen, crystalline snow, steaming cup of coffee in hand. More power to you, but for me being snowed in means one thing, “If a flesh-eating virus breaks out right now, who will be the first one to start gnawing on my shin?” You might need some lighthearted, quality entertainment to distract you. Which means there are a few flicks you should not watch under any circumstances.
So, if you’re more Doomsday than Boxing Day, here’s a Go-To List of Movies to Avoid If You’re Snowed In.
The Shining
Let’s start with the obvious choice, regarded by many (including my fellow MamaPoppers) as the ultimate snowstorm flick. Unstable disgraced professor takes psychic kid to a mountaintop hotel, finds imaginary bar, takes up a hatchet. It is the ultimate “If your rating on the Psychopath Test goes from 0-to-2 in an avalanche and no one is around to hear it…” flick and you should never, ever watch it when you have snow up to your windowsill.
30 Days of Night
Say, what if we made a movie about the one place where there is no relief from a constant vampire assault because the sun doesn’t come out for a month? No sun to turn them into piles of ash or, at least, drive them inside to play Parcheesi in the basement and, therefore, take a break from pinking the snow of the town square with the blood of the sheriff? Okay! *props eyelids open with toothpicks, laughs hysterically*
The Holiday
Two women, disappointed by love unrequited or love unraveled, swap homes for the holidays. And BAM! love and lust come knocking on their sublet doors. Ordinarily I would recommend this tasty, cloying rom-com morsel. One, you don’t have to think too hard. Two, it features the absurdly likable likes of Jack Black and Kate Winslet (and the “jury’s still out but aren’t they lovely” likes of Jude Law and Cameron Diaz). Three, it’s not You’ve Got Mail. But do not watch this when you’re trapped in the house, either alone and focused on your own alone-itude or with the person you signed on to love forever [when, in truth, Jude Law might be out there RIGHT NOW looking for you].
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