Have you heard Morrissey‘s new single, “How Soon Is
Now Too Soon?”
Once again demonstrating unparalleled absence of aptitude at sensing when the world awaits his opinion with bated breath, the unapologetically opinionated English singer has weighed in on the suicide of London nurse Jacintha Saldanha. As you know, Saldanha was found dead last week (Dec. 7) days after gaining notoriety for getting sucked into a morning radio prank by two Australian DJs, prying for intel on Kate Middleton’s hospital stay for hyperemesis. Says Morrissey:
“[Kate was in hospital] for absolutely no reason…she feels no shame about the death of this woman. She’s saying nothing about the death of this poor woman. The arrogance of the British royals is absolutely staggering.”
Um, okay. Nice of you to acknowledge the tragic loss of a wife and mother…I guess. And despite the headlines pinballing across the internet, you aren’t saying Kate Middleton is to blame for the death…exactly. But riddle me this, Benedict Cumberbitch: what would you have said about the staggering arrogance of royals if Kate Middleton had commented on Saldanha’s death? You’d be saying, “Way to make it all about you, Duchess!”
But maybe I’m being too hard on Morrissey. I mean, I know how he can’t stand arrogance. I mean, was there any better time for you take a stand on animal rights than two days after terrorist attacks on a summer camp in Norway claimed 77 lives? The loss of life you thought it important to compare to the inhumanity of KFC RIGHT THAT SECOND. That Euro-trash crowd was begging for chicken rhetoric.
And the more I think about it, now was clearly the appropriate time to take a stand on the modern relevance of monarchy (not to mention the absurdity of people seeking medical care when they’re ill and trying to grow a person). You know, I think Morrissey may just be misunderstood – a concerned citizen worried over the undue influence of figureheads in a fame-obsessed culture. Poor guy. Take heart, man: you’re never a prophet in your own land.
Maybe you should relocate to The Land of the Unrelenting Pretentious Douchebag. I’ll bet they’ll listen.