While American Horror Story: Asylum still has one final episode left to air — one final chance to go balls to the wall bonkers, to up the ante to antes unknown — the WILD SPECULATION about American Horror Story season three is well underway. Tomorrow night may very well feature Sister Jude being rescued by Lana and/or aliens and/or zombies and/or Zombie Alien Lanas (or discovering that the entire season was nothing but a hallucination of Adam Levine’s ripped-off arm), but fans are already turning to creator Ryan Murphy all, “Yeah, but what ELSE ya got?”
Here’s everything I’ve been able to glean from reputable (and not-so-reputable) media sources about the new season. There’s no real spoilers here, at least I don’t think, especially because I’m guessing at least 50% of what Murphy is letting “slip” could turn out to be bullshit anyway. He’s tricky like that.
1. Jessica Lange, Sarah Paulson and Evan Peters will all be returning. And while Jessica Lange is a special snowflake who gets the inside track on the premise (and promises from Murphy that she’ll get to look prettier than in Asylum), Paulson and Peters basically signed on knowing about as much as we do. Murphy claims to know what character Paulson will be playing, but says that she has no idea yet. That’s trust, y’all.
2. Other (unnamed) actors from the Murder House season who weren’t in Asylum will also return. I’m guessing NOT Connie Britton, as she’s likely still busy with Nashville, but maybe…Denis O’Hare? Kate Mara? Taissa Farmiga? Hot Younger Moira? Hot Security Officer Guy?
3. The season will take place in multiple cities and in modern times, with occasional flashbacks to the past, a la Murder House. The leading theories are New Orleans/voodoo or Salem/witch trials, but those are basically fan speculation and Murphy is keeping those specifics under wraps for now.
And lastly:
[Season 3] will possess a lighter, more romantic and comedic tone, at least compared to season 2 decidedly dark bent, and it will also have a young star-crossed lovers element, similar to Violet & Tate in season 1. Murphy said “female power” will be a major theme. And he has promised Lange a decidedly better wardrobe, so he says to look for the star to play a more “glammed-out” character. Finally, Murphy says season 3 will have a signature, iconic monster, a la Rubber Man of season 1 and Bloody Face of season 2. And this time? “She’s a woman.”
After being kind of baffled when I first heard that season two wouldn’t be a continuance of the Murder House season at ALL, I’m now completely onboard with the AHS method of recreating and recasting every season and find it pretty brilliant. Tom and Lorenzo made the excellent point a few episodes back that the single-season story keeps the show from falling into X-Files/Lost-type fatigue, as viewers would probably cry foul at the uneven storytelling and the characters’ often abrupt and violent ends if we spent YEARS getting invested in them, instead of just a few episodes. Sister Mary Satan gets tossed over a railing? Nazi suicide by oven? Pepper only merits a casual exposition line as Jude learns she’s lost years inside the asylum…and her mind? Uh. Okay. I guess. There’s no time to think about it because HOLY SHIT WTF IS DYLAN MCDERMOTT DOING NOW OMFG.
Anyway. Giddy up. Am blood-red with excitement. Bring it, you crazy demented wackadoodles.
(As long as AHS continues to bring Lange back, of course. If she ever tires of the show and moves on…well, let’s not talk about such dark and terrifying things. Now who wants to rewatch the Coat Hanger episode with me?)
(P.S. You can buy Jessica Lange’s cover of The Name Game on iTunes now. Your entire life is now complete, and you are welcome. ) (h/t Siobhan!)
About Amy Corbett Storch
